1. Materialistic obsession – the better car, bigger house syndrome
2. The God-awful weather – can’t argue with that one
3. It’s become a nanny state – Do this, Don’t do that, etc
4. Over-the-top political correctness – nursery rhyme madness et al
5. Winter nights starting just after The News at One­ – what can you accomplish in half a day?
6. The attitude to children – it’s almost a social stigma to have kids in the UK nowadays
7. The lack of colour – is it me or has somebody toned down the hues over there?
8. The media-generated suspicion of everyone – guilty until proven innocent
9. Lack of community spirit – is there any left?
10. The priorities – profit or personal gain before people

1. A bloody big volcano
2. World’s worst airline disaster
3. Pocket-sized bananas
4. Cheap booze
5. Dandruff-ridden potatoes (papas arrugadas)
6. Being part of Africa
7. Being part of Europe
8. Sunburn
9. Hundreds of bars with names like ‘The Mucky Bucket’
10. Not needing a snorkel to play golf in winter

1. Flash Harry timeshare reps
2. Under-staffed banks
3. Over-staffed banks with under-qualified personnel
4. Unelco ‘customer services’
5. Surly shop and bar staff
6. Cryptic road junctions
7. Officious public service workers programmed to bark, ‘No!’
8. Big-headed ex-pats
9. Suicidal taxi drivers
10. Boy racers in souped-up Seats

Send in your own Top (or Bottom) 10s to editor@tenerifemagazine.com