If you happen to be on holiday on Tenerife you can escape the frantic Christmas crowds at home but still enjoy a magical Christmas atmosphere. Here are our top 10 things to do at Christmas on Tenerife.

Pig out on Turrón
This scrumptious cake borne from a grand romantic gesture is only found on supermarket shelves on Tenerife at Christmas (well…until stocks run out). It is sinfully good especially when paired with a cup of coffee. There are oodles of different varieties to choose from, but the original almond, sugar, honey and egg yema tostada is still the best.

Slip on some Sexy Red Underwear
Apparently it’s good luck to see in the New Year wearing red underwear (it doesn’t say anywhere it has to be sexy, but ‘slip on some plain red underwear’ just doesn’t sound the same). Two conditions for guaranteeing good luck for the coming year is that the red underwear has to be new and also that it’s a present. Who knows how many people follow this tradition; it’s a difficult one to research – ‘excuse me, what colour is your underwear?’ is more likely to result in a slap than an answer.

Enjoy a Sparkling Christmas
The Christmas street decorations in some of Tenerife’s towns make a visit after dark an enchanting experience. Some of the resorts put on decent displays but to walk the cobbled historic streets in la Laguna and La Orotava after dark evokes warm and fuzzy memories of childhood Christmases.

Singalong-a-Christmas
There’s usually a popular musical at the Tenerife Auditorium Adán Martín and this year it’s The Sound of Music. Actually it’s the Spanish version Sonrisas y Lagrimas, so the music might sound familiar but the words might not; somehow ‘Doh a cierva’ just wouldn’t seem right. Possibly a better option is the free open air Christmas Day classical concert in Santa Cruz.

Eat Early on Christmas Eve
This applies more if you’re in a traditional town on Tenerife where every Canarian restaurant shuts early on Christmas Eve so that families can enjoy their big Christmas dinner together.
Of course if you’re one of those people who eat their dinner in the middle of the afternoon (around 6pm) then it won’t be a problem.

Forget Santa Claus and Cheer on the Three Kings
There’s no big portly guy squeezing down chimneys here. Tenerife’s version, like the rest of Spain, is the Tres Reyes (Three Kings) who pay a visit to Tenerife’s towns on the evening of the 5th January to bestow gifts on the children. Lots of towns on Tenerife have Tres Reyes parades, in some the kings arrive on camels. The tradition makes a lot more sense than the whole Santa Claus deal.

Let Them Eat Cake
It’s traditional to eat Roscón de Reyes (the Kings’ Cake) on Tres Reyes (6th January) but you can buy these throughout the Christmas period on Tenerife. Riscón de Reyes is a wreath shaped bready cake topped by candied fruit. It used to be traditional to put a dried bean and a figurine in the cake mix. Whoever got the figure was made honorary king for the day and the person who got the bean had to fork out for the cake (approx €8). Last time I tried Roscón de Reyes I got the bean, so I haven’t bothered since (you can take the boy out of Scotland but…).

Build a Snowman
Honestly, this is a popular local tradition if we get enough of the white stuff on Mount Teide. But on Tenerife there’s a bit of a difference. You build the snowman on the bonnet of your car and then try to make it to the coast before the snowman completely melts…and without crashing because you can’t see as you’ve got a snowman on your bonnet.

Check out the Beléns
These nativity scenes found everywhere on Tenerife (town halls, shop windows, hotels) can be incredibly detailed with intricate moving parts. Adults and children love them, especially when they spot el caganer – the guy who always gets ‘caught short’ out in the open.

Sunbathe on Christmas Day
If you haven’t done it before, there’s something bizarre about lounging about on the beach in your swimwear on Christmas Day, especially if there’s snow on Mount Teide and it’s a white Christmas on Tenerife.

¡Feliz Navidad a Todos!

Here’s Tenerife Magazine’s guide to some of the most useful phrases to have in your vocabulary, or how to sound more Spanish – savvy than you are.

1. Claro – a multi functional phrase meaning ‘clearly/indeed/of course’, this verbal equivalent of a head nod  will hold you in good stead for most conversations.
2. Si, si, si – uttered in rapid fire, multi succession, the simple ‘yes’ is the most Spanish of phrases.
3. Vale (pronounced ‘ballet’) – meaning ‘okay’ this one’s used in Spanish every bit as much as its English equivalent and will get you out of many tight spots. Just be careful you’re not agreeing to anything you may regret later.

These three phrases alone are enough to have you passing as a Spanish speaker. When someone starts chatting to you, just throw a vale, a few si,si,si‘s and the occasional claro into the conversation and you could easily be mistaken for fluent.

4. Mas o menos – meaning ‘more or less’, mas o menos is as much a mantra as a phrase and sums up the Canario approach to many aspects of life. Spoken without pronouncing the ‘s’ and accompanied by a shrug of the shoulders, this will not only get you passing for a Spanish speaker, but a Canario at heart.
5. Buenos días, buenas tardes, buenas noches – ‘Good morning/afternoon/evening and night’ – As the line between días and tardes is a very mas o menos affair which has nothing to do with midday and may fall anywhere between 1.30pm and 3pm, it’s easiest to adopt the Tenerife way of merging all three into a single ‘buenas‘ and dumping the watch altogether.

6. Guapa/guapo (pronounced wappa/wappo) – meaning ‘beautiful’ and ending with an ‘a’ for females and an ‘o’ for males, this handy little phrase will get you uttering small talk on everything from the weather to a hunk of gorgeousness passing by. Just say ¡que guapa! and pick up your membership card to Tinerfeño society.
7. Jarra/caña (pronounced hara/canya) – essential vocabulary for anyone who enjoys a drop of draught amber nectar after a hard day on the beach, a jarra is the local vernacular for a large beer and a caña is a small beer. Just don’t try using it when you head to Torremolinos in summer or you might end up with a jug full of beer. On the other hand…

8. La cuentita (pronounced kwen-tee-ta) – a handy one to have at the end of your restaurant meal, this literally means ‘the small bill’, as opposed to the full-sized one. It’s always worth asking for this, if nothing else it’ll usually raise a smile and it might just get you a free shot of honey rum with la cuenta.
9. Encantado/a, mucho gusto – the Spanish equivalent of ‘nice to meet you’. If someone says encantado/a to you, you should respond with mucho gusto and vice versa. And don’t forget the double cheek kiss which accompanies it, preferably not delivered by the typical British body language equivalent of an ironing board at the blatant invasion of private space by a complete stranger. When in Spain…
10. ¡Mi madre/Dios mío! – uttered whilst grasping the general area of your heart or making the sign of the cross, these are two typical expressions of utter dismay, ‘oh Mother and My God!’ Particularly useful when bartering over a new pair of Ray-Bans or when la cuentita is brought.

Have you noticed the revolution in the way that people research their holidays?

Before the entire cosmos turned cyber, holiday brochures were the mainstay of most vacationers; glossy pages filled with impossibly blue skies, golden beaches peopled by happy families with perfect tans and blindingly white teeth; and resorts that sounded like they were constructed to your individual design specification. If you were lucky, your high street travel agent may have been to the resort and could give you some first hand knowledge, otherwise, you hoped the brochure wasn’t too far short of accurate.

‘Serious’ travellers shunned holiday brochures in favour of travel guides. Reams and reams of in-depth history and political analysis; endless accommodation and restaurant listings; sometimes written by someone who’d spent less time in the resort than the two weeks you were planning.
Travel magazines and the newspaper weekend supplements provided both information and inspiration for travel destinations; travel writers covered the globe from the well-trodden to off-the-beaten track locations and filled their pages with beautiful images that cried out to be seen in the flesh.

Then came the Internet and suddenly everyone was a travel writer. From blogs to travel advisory forums, personal holiday experiences became available in their millions creating a massive information overload. With the growth of Internet-based information, printed travel publications and newspapers have been forced to reduce costs; travel supplements are thin and features are often compiled from behind a desk.

But unless you’re clued in to research techniques and know enough to separate the real from the copycats, ploughing through the mass of information available online is time-consuming and fraught with pitfalls.

Well now there’s a new kid on the travel block to help the consumer make informed decisions before they book their hard-earned holiday – the insider expert. The insider is someone who not only lives in the destination, but spends their time travelling and researching it; providing first hand, up to the minute information – warts and all.
One company who’ve already recognised the strength of the insider expert is the online holiday website, tenerife.co.uk

Newly launched and specialising in Tenerife, tenerife.co.uk provide two views for every resort on their site; the travel agent view, and the insider view –side by side, so you can see at a glance if the resort is right for you. It’s an interesting and brave approach from the people behind tenerife.co.uk and it provides some telling comparisons such as “small, purpose built resort”- Travel Agent vs “housing estates in the sun” – Insider. Of course, deciding if it’s right for you is still your decision; but there are no punches pulled in giving you the facts with which to do that.

Adding value to the Internet by giving discerning consumers the best information available for them to make their choices is the way of the holiday company future.
And how do I know that the insider information tenerife.co.uk are giving is ‘the best’? That’s easy; because it comes from me

Rent Before You Buy

Putting down roots somewhere is very different from offending the locals by gadding about in bikini top and bum-biting shorts. Things that you may not even notice when you are on the island for a brief two weeks may assume Teide-like proportions when you have to live with them day to day. Imagine buying a ground floor,  pool-front apartment only to find that the indescribable pong that assails you every time you leave the house is caused by the complex’s overflowing sewage tank which just happens to be buried under your front doorstep. Funny how the seller forgot to mention that, eh?

Try Before You Buy

Again, just as a residence can take on a new and infinitely more annoying character once familiarity has bred contempt, so too can the charms of a residential area begin to pall. It might have seemed like a brilliant idea to make your home in the middle of Las Americas, but I wonder if you will still think so after a month’s worth of Saturday night bar brawls in the street outside your window.

Fly Before You Buy

Have you seen the exposes in the UK newpapers recently that uncovered pictorial real estate advertisements of gorgeous country cottages for sale? These are pictured in sparkling sunshine and shown in splendid isolation until, that is, you see the whole picture which includes the nearest neighbour – Sellafield Nuclear Plant.  Well, while Tenerife’s professional and experienced estate agents would never pull such an underhand and sneaky trick (heaven forbid!) that is not to say that wee Bobby McGumpher won’t exaggerate the beauty of his one bedroom in Las Brisas for the sake of an extra couple of thousand pounds when he flogs it on eBay. Get on a plane and actually visit the property you are buying before kissing goodbye to your cash.

Cry Before You Bye

For some people, upping sticks and leaving home is as easy as switching off a light. As they gaze out the aeroplane window at their homeland getting smaller beneath them their thoughts are full of glorious tropical sunsets and making a new home amongst the vivid colours of a new land. Meanwhile their spouse,  whose heart still belongs to Glasgow,  is sobbing into the Sports Section and already missing the grandweans.

Homesickness is one of the main reasons for the big move to Tenerife to end in tears. Quite often, one partner is less excited by the idea of living two thousand miles from their family and friends than the other.  While one spouse  is happy to leave the screaming grandchildren and sponging son-in-law behind, the other dissolves in floods of tears at the sight of a newborn baby. At times like these, much sensitivity is required.  “Ahh, get over it, you big girl’s blouse!” is not now, and never has been,  the right thing to say. For anything.  Ever!