We all know that carnival on Tenerife means madness, mayhem and over the top parades. But  the carnivals that take place outside of Santa Cruz, Puerto de la Cruz, Los Gigantes and Los Cristianos rarely make it onto visitors’ radar. And yet it’s at these where you can find some of the most unusual ways to celebrate carnival.

Each year Güímar produces one of the most stylish and sexy carnival posters on Tenerife and 2012 is no exception. The poster by Luis Marrero, titled The Transformation, illustrates one of the town’s main celebrations, Las Burras de Güímar.

Mysticism and Güímar, the home of the much debated pyramids, are no strangers. Neither is superstition or tales of witchcraft. So a carnival street event involving satanic dances, witches who transform themselves into donkeys to cause mischief and destroy farmers’ crops and a full on battle between the forces of good and evil seems quite an appropriate way for the young people of the town to let their hair down and have a bit of fun.

Las Burras de Güímar has become one of the highlights of Güímar’s carnival, growing in popularity each year since the first witches took to the street in 1992.

The question in some people’s minds will be ‘do the witches actually ‘dress up’ like the one on the poster?’

You’ll have to go along to Plaza de San Pedro Apóstol de Güímar at 9pm on Friday 24th February to find out for yourself.

James Blunt in Tenerife
And the stars just keep on coming. The latest international name to be performing on Tenerife is James Blunt who shot to fame with his first album Back to Bedlam in 2005. The singer, whose songs provoke a love-them or hate-them reaction, will be at the Auditorium in Santa Cruz at 9pm on the 28th July. Tickets are €40 and €50. Whether you happen to like James Blunt or not, having an artist of his calibre on Tenerife is good for the island….even if his audience are likely to feel depressed for a few days after the concert.

Tenerife’s 50 Metre Tsunami
Researchers have uncovered further evidence pointing to a massive landslide that created Las Cañadas del Teide and sent 50 metre high waves rushing across the Atlantic Ocean. Fossils of shells, coral and even fish have been discovered 30 metres above sea level in the Teno region of Tenerife and researchers from Madrid, Portugal and Tenerife say that they could only have been deposited there by a huge tsunami caused by the landslide. The good news is that this natural disaster occurred approximately 180,000 years ago. The bad news is that scientists say it could happen again. However, it’ll probably be at least 10,000 years before we have to worry about it.

The Carnaval Just Keeps on Rocking
Anyone suffering from post carnaval blues will love this video just posted by The Ministry of Sound on the blog on their website. Tenerife Magazine was there and it was a fantastic night and one of the highlights of this year’s carnaval. Pump up the sound on your speakers, hit play, sit back and relive moments from the best carnaval in Europe.

Clash of the Extras
Casting for extras for the forthcoming Clash of the Titans sequel, Wrath of the Titans caused havoc around Tenerife last week. Over 5,000 aspiring extras are said to have turned up in La Laguna and some dressed in Ancient Greek styled robes in order to improve their chances of being selected. Whilst in El Médano would-be Thespians queued overnight for a chance of being in the spotlight. Apparently there were a lot of mysterious illnesses affecting schools and businesses on casting days. The plot of Wrath of the Titans is about hell being unleashed on earth. Considering the quality of the first movie, let’s hope that’s not a reference to the sequel’s première.

And finally the TIT (This Is Tenerife) of the week award goes to…The Director General of Costas and ATAN (Tenerife Association of Friends of Nature).
Despite support from the Tenerife Cabildo, local council and Uncle Tom Cobley and all, the proposed Playa Las Vistas festival ‘Tenerife Sur de Musicas’ was given the big thumbs down by the Director General of Costas on the grounds that there was no unique reason why the festival had to be held on a beach. The ruling also referenced a letter from ATAN which said that a beach festival would have a detrimental effect on the environment.

On their website ATAN claim that the beach festival was a remake of  the popular Son Latinos concert under a different name and the plans to hold it were an attempt to promote private interests to the detriment of the majority.

Who exactly are the majority that ATAN are referring to? They’re clearly not the tens of thousands of local people who attend and enjoy festivals like Son Latinos nor the tourists who are attracted to the island and put money into the economy because of events such as this.

It goes without saying that businessmen are trying to make a profit. ATAN are incredibly naïve and unrealistic if they believe otherwise. Is the local greengrocer who makes a profit out of selling fruits of the earth any different?

And here’s a little fact that is quite amusing. Playa Las Vistas isn’t even a natural beach, it’s man made.

We are completely supportive of any actions that protect the environment, but ATAN should be concentrating their efforts on some of the real environmental crimes taking place on Tenerife, not crowing about stopping a beach festival which can be cleaned up rapidly afterwards.

Clowns’ smiles have never been wider, jugglers’ props have never flown higher and widows have never wailed so mournfully. Los Cristianos pulled out all the stops as Carnaval came to town and the circus theme had them rolling up in their thousands.
It was an eerie Sunday afternoon in the heart of this popular Tenerife holiday resort, the streets were strangely deserted. Was it the baking sun, or hangovers from the previous nights dancing to Orquesta Wamampy? Looking a little deeper I could see tell tale signs that the big Coso parade was due in a few hours – road signs indicated diversions, bars were digging out every last wonky table and seat to line the streets, and at the showground below the Valdes Centre floats were being decorated as performers squeezed into bizarre costumes.

The Sunday market was packing away stalls as I headed down to the gathering point where Montaña Guaza bathed in sunlight as musical groups swigged chilled water and practiced dance routines. Friday night had been a late and hazy one, not just due to flowing drinks but also the swirling smoke on stage as 6 adults and infants competed to be Carnaval Queens. The 2 winners were now united on one float, 17 year old Khar Ndoye in her Queen Of Africa creation, and 5 year old Claudia Morales Asencio doing justice to her outfit From The Sky Of Peking.

Pre show nerves were jangling, as were the ice cubes in the encouragement juice being liberally sipped on and around the floats. A few loud shrill whistles and everyone fell into line and the colourful chorus snaked up the road cheered on by joyful crowds perched on every possible vantage point. Some drummed, some danced, some pirouetted, and many did all three but somehow they managed to move along at a brisk pace even allowing for plenty of hand shaking and photo posing along the way.
Heading up the hill those enclosed in bulky costumes must have been shedding most of their body weight while others had plenty of exposed flesh to sizzle. The noise was infectious, as one rhythm lulled there was always another band to take up the pace, it was staggering to think how many hours had gone into creating all these costumes. With the evening creeping in, the cavalcade hit the city centre with a final flourish before partly disrobing in the side streets and joining the throng in the showground to dance the night away.

The sardine was ready and waiting to bring down the curtain on Monday, with a lip stick pout and an army of black veiled admirers the forecourt of the cultural centre was the rallying point. Last year’s will-it-wont-it-happen debacle was thankfully replaced with forward planning and the increased number of mourners showed that. Carnaval was later this year so with the clocks moved forward, an 8pm start in the light was always unrealistic.

As night fell, the lead carriage arrived belting out dance music, the widows lifted their skirt tails and the mock clergy led the way into the main street with a beach destination vaguely kept in mind. The costumes seem to get ruder every year but the crowds following were enjoying being shocked as frocks were lifted to reveal all sorts of underwear and gender defying extras. The sardine on its wheeled trolley lagged behind at the back for much of the journey, the salsa and disco beats at the front were a magnet for the widows. Progress was slow, every few yards the main group chanted their homage to the sardine and then fell to the floor crying and writhing in mock despair.

Many had waited hours down at the beach for a good view of the cremation but surprisingly few joined the stampede onto the sand to greet the weary fish as it made its noisy entrance into its penned off death zone. A liberal sprinkling of fuel basted the sardine before it was lit and it did its dog impression, going woof as the flames shot up. A few fireworks were released into the night sky as the mourners danced around the charred remains, this was an ex sardine. It may have been the end of the funeral but just the start of one last night of late partying as Los Cristianos said goodbye to carnival for another year.

Tenerife Magazine’s round up of some of the most interesting news stories of the week in Tenerife.

Snow on Tenerife
Snow on Tenerife at this time of year isn’t really a big deal; there can be snow on Mount Teide till June. But when the clouds lifted on Monday everyone was surprised by just how far down the hillside the snow level had reached. Roads through the towns of Benijos and Aguamansa (around the 1000 metre mark) in the north of Tenerife were turned white and snow completely covered the town square in La Esperanza, something that no-one there had ever witnessed previously. As the unusual weather conditions piled up, the south west coast experienced hailstones whilst temperatures at 1800 metres fell to 0c for only the fourth time in recorded history (recorded history doesn’t stretch back that far; the other three times were 1996, 1997 and 2005). Just to top things off rain of up to 73 litres per square metre was recorded in Los Rodeos and Las Mercedes with Candelaria experiencing around 62 litres per square metre. The storm front affected the whole Canarian archipelago and even low lying Fuerteventura felt the force of hailstorms. Not the best week for anyone visiting the island…but hang on in there; normal service will be resumed by the weekend.

Driving on Tenerife is Sexy…
… if you happen to be behind the wheel of one of the new Mercedes Benz cars that have added a touch of sleek glamour to Tenerife’s roads during March.
Throughout the month Mercedes Benz have been using the island’s dazzling scenery as a backdrop to showcase their stunning new models to 700 journalists from all over the globe. To be used as a location to officially launch a prestigious new car from the Mercedes Benz stable is quite a coup for Tenerife. Have a look below to see the gorgeous SLK 350 BlueEFFICIENCY in action on some of Tenerife’s equally gorgeous roads.

Carnaval Dates for Tenerife for 2012
Okay we’re all still yawning due to the excesses of Carnaval 2011, but for all of you out there who like to plan in advance, here are the dates of the Santa Cruz Carnaval 2012. The opening parade will be Friday 17 February 2012 with the closing parade being Tuesday 21st and Burial of the Sardine Wednesday 22nd February. And just in case four weeks of carnival wasn’t enough to satisfy carnaval junkies, the whole shebang will now last for five weeks with the first event taking place on the 27th January. That means an extra week of murgas…deep joy.

Who Wants to Be Michael Jackson?
With the Michael Jackson tribute show Forever King of Pop looking around for a young Michael to play the king of pop in the hit show in La Laguna at the end of March/beginning of April on Tenerife, it would be reasonable to expect the casting director’s office to be flooded with mini MJ look-alikes. But only fourteen potentials turned up. The casting was announced on the show’s website but as it was in Spanish only maybe it was missed by non Spanish-speaking residents. Or perhaps there aren’t that many children on Tenerife who look like a young Michael Jackson who can sing and dance to a professional level as well.

Pick up a St Patrick’s Day Bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey on Tenerife
Jameson’s have released a specially designed bottle of their whiskey just for St Patrick’s Day. The unique bottle, designed by Irish artist Paul Daly, has a Celtic music theme and is only available in travel related outlets during March. These include airports such as Rome, Heathrow, Paris Charles de Gaulle and…yes, you’ve guessed it – Tenerife South.

And finally the TIT (This Is Tenerife) of the week award goes to… Al Campo supermarket for not keeping its Caja Verde till manned full time.

It represents a step forward to see Tenerife supermarkets adopting environmentally friendly measures by introducing special ‘green’ tills that can only be used by customers who bring their own bags or use the store’s recycled ones (incidentally, Carrefour’s also look great). Al Campo introduced green tills some time ago but lately their La Orotava branch seems to have sacrificed the manning of the till on a regular basis. It begs the question what’s the point of introducing environment saving measures if you don’t commit to them 100%? Make a sentence out of the words lip, service and paying. Green tills should be the first tills that are manned in a supermarket, not the last.

It was loud; it was brash; it was colourful, it was crazy and it was even a bit wet. But most of all Carnival on Tenerife was a lot of fun and Tenerife Magazine was in the thick of the action to experience the best bits of Tenerife’s most outrageous week-long party.

First there were the queens. Naomi Cabrera Pulido was crowned carnival queen in Santa Cruz (photo courtesy of Turismo de Tenerife)…

…And Esther Yanes García, the girl with the smile that could melt a creme egg, was crowned carnival queen in Puerto de la Cruz.

Then the Ministry of Sound rocked the capital and over 100,000 people took to the streets to dance the night away at carnival street parties (this was only one street)…

…and this group of larger than life Scots threatened to drink all the beer…and eat all the pies.

Talking of food, it’s no wonder those guys got to be so big when faced with stalls like this in Santa Cruz and Puerto de la Cruz.

The surreal Burial of the Sardine with its wailing widows has been outdone in the sheer spectacle stakes in recent years by the most outrageous event of any carnival celebrations on Tenerife – the Mascarita Ponte Tacón (High Heels Marathon). 50,000+ turn up for this one. This is one of the few photos fit for family viewing.

The Gran Coso Apoteosis (closing parade) in Santa Cruz had its fervour dampened by rain, but it’s counterpart in Puerto de la Cruz a few days later enjoyed warm sunshine, so no soggy feathers for the dancers this time…

…and much more in line with what ‘tourists’ like these two expect when they come to Tenerife.

And finally the whole thing was rounded off with some more wild and wonderful street parties, but there’s no picture for these…this time the camera stayed in the bag and the notebook remained in the pocket so that we could do what everyone else was doing – let our hair down and enjoy the last big carnival bash of 2011.

Carnival in the north of Tenerife is over, but carnival continues in Los Gigantes and Los Cristianos during the second half of March.

At 4-0 down with rain lashing across their Santa Cruz stadium the game was over for CD Tenerife, the fat lady was singing. In fact the fat lady was a fat hairy man who was not only singing but also dancing along with many other weird and wonderful Carnaval characters. A late consolation goal for the home faithful was greeted like a World Cup winner by the die hard remainder of the 17,586 crowd. The Carnaval song book was being given a thorough workout and even soggy wings, fur and party frocks failed to dampen the enthusiasm.

Football is like a religion to the people of Tenerife and the Heliodoro stadium is the place of worship. Once a year a home game falls during Santa Cruz Carnaval, that crazy whirl of colour and music, then the two big passions combine and fun takes on a new dimension.

Gathering at our usual pre game haunt just down from the stadium, the Armada Sur peña (fan club) soaked up the pre game atmosphere and Dorada beer as a procession of fans in their party clothes passed by. Many families took on a themed approach and proud fathers led their children in their costumes to their first Carnaval game. Once inside the ground the recently crowned Carnival Queen Naomi Cabrera was introduced to the teams and crowd just before kick off.

Ideally the script would dictate a home win but the visiting Barcelona B team had been plundering goals all season and was crammed with young talent. Tenerife had their moments early on, goal scoring hero Nino squandered a close shot but home goalkeeper Sergio Aragoneses had to make two strong saves in quick succession.

Even tucked in the noisy lower tier of the Grada Popular stand I could sense a commotion upstairs and looked up from pitch side to see a pink army of padded “ladies” holding the most unusual beauty pageant. Maybe they distracted the Tenerife players or maybe it was just the superior skills of the Barca team that saw them build a 2-0 half time lead from Oriol and Nolito as Tenerife struggled to hold back the tide.

The half time gathering out the back of our stand was joyous but resigned to our fate. At least we had the extra entertainment of watching clergy, animals and gender defying figures crushing into the gents. Back on the pitch Tenerife were attacking our goal, good reason to crank up the volume even higher. The dark clouds were gathering and a few of the younger party people showing signs of tiredness but Barcelona weren’t letting up. The blanquiazul (white and blue) were reduced to 10 men after Dubarbier was sent off for two bookings and the sky opened up sending down a deluge of biblical proportions.

Heads dropped in defence as Nolito wrapped up a hat trick within a couple of minutes, both goals meeting little resistance. Some of us crammed under the cover of the top tier of the stand but many chose to revel in the rain, warm and water proof costumes showed great forward planning by some. Carnaval bows down for no one, the anthem Chicharrero splashed around the ground and recent forward Brazilian signing Igor used his height to knock down a ball for Nino to crack home a late pride restoring goal.

The rain slowed to torrential as the final whistle blew and fans waddled out of the ground. Some were popping home first to dry their feathers and wring out their false breasts but a large river of people headed down into the heart of town to continue the dancing, singing and drinking into the small hours.

Carnival on Tenerife hit top gear at the weekend. Although the opening round of parties are over, some of the most popular carnival events are still to come.

There are loads of carnival events on Tenerife to look out for over the next few weeks. So anyone with a yen to slip into the fishnets and little black number (men only on this occasion), really vamp it up at an unforgettable open air party or even simply enjoy the spectacle of a colourful carnival parade should take a note of the dates in our Carnival Agenda.

Carnival on Tenerife, Güímar

Güímar has the best carnival poster on Tenerife this year and enough to warrant a visit the town of the mysterious pyramids for their celebrations.

Main Dates: 11th to 26th March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, La Laguna

Not a lot of tourists seek out this carnaval, or many fiestas in the former capital city of San Cristóbal de La Laguna even though they hold some of the biggest parties there.

Main Dates: Between 5th and 12th March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, La Orotava

With a theme of the music from the 70s and 80s La Orotava could be a hippy and new romantic haven during carnival.

Main Dates: From 5th to 12th March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, Los Cristianos

Despite the carnival poster howler, the circus themed Los Cristianos carnival should be a lot of fun.

Main Dates: 25th to 28th March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, Los Gigantes

One of the best carnivals in south Tenerife, Los Gigantes has a Latino theme this year.

Main Dates: 13th to 21st March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, Puerto de la Cruz

Not quite as big as Santa Cruz, but carnival in El Puerto involves tens of thousands of people and rocking street parties.

Main Dates: Between 3rd and 12th March. More Information Here

Carnival in Santa Cruz

The biggest, brashest and most exuberant celebrations are held in Tenerife’s capital city, Santa Cruz.

Main Dates: Carnival really hits its stride in Santa Cruz between 2nd and 13th March. More Information Here

With a theme of the music from the 70s and 80s La Orotava could be a hippy and new romantic haven during carnival.

Main Dates: From 5th to 12th March

Main Events
Carnaval Parade: The Coso Apoteosis takes place on Tuesday 8th March followed by a 70s and 80s inspired disco at 7.30pm
Time: 4.30pm
Location: From Cruz del Teide to Plaza la Paz

Burial of the Sardine (in La Orotava it’s called Quema de Crispín): Wednesday 9th March
Time: 9pm
Location: Calle From the football stadium to Plaza de la Constitución.

Closing Carnival Party: The Baile de la Piñata on Saturday 12th March is the time to wear your best carnival costume in La Orotava
Time: 11pm
Location: Plaza de San Juan Bautista

One of the best carnivals in south Tenerife, Los Gigantes has a Latino theme this year.

Main Dates: 13th to 21st March

Main Events
Fiesta Blanca Latina: Batukada performances and Latino bands on Sunday 13th March
Time: From Midday
Location: Plaza Buganvilla

Election of the Carnaval Queen and Gala: Thursday 17th March
Time: 9pm
Location: Plaza Buganvilla

Children’s Parade and Grand Ball: Saturday 19th March
Time: From 5pm
Location: Plaza Buganvilla

Closing Parade: Coso Apoteosis followed by masked ball takes place on Sunday 20th March
Time: From 5pm
Location: From La Pescadora roundabout to Plaza Buganvilla.

Burial of the Sardine followed by Widows’ Ball: Monday 21st March
Time: 9pm
Location: From the start of the village to the Hotel Los Gigantes.

Despite the carnival poster howler, the circus themed Los Cristianos carnival should be a lot of fun.

Main Dates: 25th to 28tht March

Main Events
Election of the Carnaval Queen: Friday 25th March
Time: 9pm
Location: Recinto Ferial

Parade and Grand Ball: Saturday 26th March
Time: From Parade 5.30pm, Carnival Ball at 11pm
Location: Parade from Cultural Centre, dance at the Recinto Ferial

Closing Parade: Coso Apoteosis followed by carnival dance on Sunday 27th March
Time: From 5pm
Location: From Paloma Beach Aptmts to the Recinto Ferial.

Burial of the Sardine followed by Widows’ Ball: Monday 21st March
Time: 8pm
Location: From Cultural Centre to Playa de Los Cristianos. The widows’ ball is at the Recinto Ferial