We all know that carnival on Tenerife means madness, mayhem and over the top parades. But  the carnivals that take place outside of Santa Cruz, Puerto de la Cruz, Los Gigantes and Los Cristianos rarely make it onto visitors’ radar. And yet it’s at these where you can find some of the most unusual ways to celebrate carnival.

Each year Güímar produces one of the most stylish and sexy carnival posters on Tenerife and 2012 is no exception. The poster by Luis Marrero, titled The Transformation, illustrates one of the town’s main celebrations, Las Burras de Güímar.

Mysticism and Güímar, the home of the much debated pyramids, are no strangers. Neither is superstition or tales of witchcraft. So a carnival street event involving satanic dances, witches who transform themselves into donkeys to cause mischief and destroy farmers’ crops and a full on battle between the forces of good and evil seems quite an appropriate way for the young people of the town to let their hair down and have a bit of fun.

Las Burras de Güímar has become one of the highlights of Güímar’s carnival, growing in popularity each year since the first witches took to the street in 1992.

The question in some people’s minds will be ‘do the witches actually ‘dress up’ like the one on the poster?’

You’ll have to go along to Plaza de San Pedro Apóstol de Güímar at 9pm on Friday 24th February to find out for yourself.

Title: GoymarFest Heavy Metal Festival
Location: El Puertito, Guimar
Link out: Click here
Description: Prepare to rock at this FREE 12 hour festival with a full bill of local bands like Metrabate, Hot Vulcan Stompers, Adarzu, Jotnar, Thrashtorno, Disomnia, Brutalizzed Kids, Guerilla Urbana and more. There is also a display of Harley Davidsons and lots more going on. Starts at 2pm and runs into Sunday at 2am, on the sports area near Club Nautico.
Start Time: 14.00
Date: 2011-08-20

Now summer is officially here and before the thermometer loses its head entirely, it’s the ideal time to explore Tenerife’s east coast. Around Puertitio de Güímar the default setting is sun and there’s very little shade to be found, but the near-constant breeze keeps everything just the right temperature for exploring the coastline.

Why this way?
For many people, the east coast of Tenerife is just a blur seen from the window as they travel along the TF1. But leave the motorway and head down towards the coast, or up into the hills and you discover a very different side to Tenerife. Less conducive to taming than its southern and western counterparts, the east has escaped over-development and there are many parts where nature still holds sway with wide, open spaces, where you can walk for hours and not meet another soul.

Hot, dry and windy, the central eastern coastline is largely what is known as malpaís (badlands); arid scrub land with desert-like conditions. To look at it from a distance, you might be forgiven for thinking that nothing grows or lives here but in fact, the malpaís is home to 150 species of flora which support 100 types of insect and 60 types of butterfly, not to mention the thriving communities of lizards that accompany your every step.

But the best reason of all for choosing Puertito de Güímar as a walking base is because of its great seafood and tapas restaurants and the little port with its stylish boardwalk where swimmers and sunbathers frolic. There can be few better places to end a hike with a swim, lunch and a beer, not necessarily in that order.

Hike this way
The clearly marked path begins just outside Puertito de Güímar and follows the coastline past a shanty town of former military installations which have been extended haphazardly using a spirit level that was clearly far more spirit than level. It should look like an eyesore, and indeed it largely does, except that there’s something compellingly ideal about its simplicity and I could easily pull up a deckchair and spend the day just idling here.

The path winds its way through clumps of pink marine thyme and bright green sea lettuce until it reaches Montaña de la Mar which should be awarded a prize for self delusion as, rising to no more than a paltry 27 metres above sea level, it barely deserves the title hillock, let alone mountain.

As the trail reaches the base of Montaña Grande the vegetation morphs into tall grasses and sweet tabaiba and everywhere, lizards scurry through the undergrowth, foraging for food. From the mountain a path leads back, zigzagging round islands filled with the fat spikes of cardón, to Puertito and that promise of a cold beer and lunch.

Stroll this way
The great thing about walking around the malpaís of Güímar is that you can set out from Puertito and just stroll along the coastal path, spotting nice pieces of driftwood and all sorts of detritus washed up by the tide.

Beyond the turn off for Montaña Grande the path continues to the tiny coastal settlement of Socorro with its beach houses and its two chapels – one above, one below – and its little beach of Chimisay where the miraculous discovery of the Patron Saint of the Canary Islands, the Virgin of Candelaria took place. For such a momentous event, you might expect there to be an ostentatious monument or two but in fact, there is just a simple cross set in a block of concrete. The ostentation is preserved for the Candelaria Basilica.

My way
Peaks: The aces in Güímar’s pack for me are the wide open emptiness of the plains and the lovely El Puertito as the start and end points. Keep an eye out for plovers and turnstones fishing amongst the rock pools.

Troughs: The scenery could get a bit monotonous if you were to walk here every day and the lack of trees and natural shade mean it’s best to avoid high summer days when the breeze drops.

My view: 2.5 Stars – This is an easy, pleasant walk which offers a landscape which is more akin to the Eastern Canary Islands. I particularly like the abundance of grasses around Montaña Grande, particularly in spring and early summer.

Carnival on Tenerife hit top gear at the weekend. Although the opening round of parties are over, some of the most popular carnival events are still to come.

There are loads of carnival events on Tenerife to look out for over the next few weeks. So anyone with a yen to slip into the fishnets and little black number (men only on this occasion), really vamp it up at an unforgettable open air party or even simply enjoy the spectacle of a colourful carnival parade should take a note of the dates in our Carnival Agenda.

Carnival on Tenerife, Güímar

Güímar has the best carnival poster on Tenerife this year and enough to warrant a visit the town of the mysterious pyramids for their celebrations.

Main Dates: 11th to 26th March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, La Laguna

Not a lot of tourists seek out this carnaval, or many fiestas in the former capital city of San Cristóbal de La Laguna even though they hold some of the biggest parties there.

Main Dates: Between 5th and 12th March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, La Orotava

With a theme of the music from the 70s and 80s La Orotava could be a hippy and new romantic haven during carnival.

Main Dates: From 5th to 12th March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, Los Cristianos

Despite the carnival poster howler, the circus themed Los Cristianos carnival should be a lot of fun.

Main Dates: 25th to 28th March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, Los Gigantes

One of the best carnivals in south Tenerife, Los Gigantes has a Latino theme this year.

Main Dates: 13th to 21st March. More Information Here

Carnival on Tenerife, Puerto de la Cruz

Not quite as big as Santa Cruz, but carnival in El Puerto involves tens of thousands of people and rocking street parties.

Main Dates: Between 3rd and 12th March. More Information Here

Carnival in Santa Cruz

The biggest, brashest and most exuberant celebrations are held in Tenerife’s capital city, Santa Cruz.

Main Dates: Carnival really hits its stride in Santa Cruz between 2nd and 13th March. More Information Here

Not as big as Santa Cruz, but carnival in El Puerto still involves tens of thousands of people and rocking street parties.

Main Dates: Between 3rd and 12th March

Main Events
Election of the Carnaval Queen: Thursday 3nd March
Time: 9pm
Location: Plaza Europa

Burial of the Sardine: Wednesday 9th March
Time: 9pm
Location: From Avenida Colón through the town to the harbour.

High Heels Marathon: One of the unique highlights of Puerto’s carnival takes place on Friday 11th March
Time: 4pm
Location: Avenida de Francisco La Roche y Marítima

Closing Parade: Coso Apoteosis takes place on Saturday 12th March
Time: 4pm
Location: From Avenida Colón to Plaza del Charco and then Calle San Felipe.

There are street parties every night from 5th to 12th (except Thursday 10th) in Plaza Charco, Calle Perdomo and at Casa Aduana.

Surely the best carnival poster on Tenerife and enough to warrant a visit the town of the mysterious pyramids for their celebrations.

Main Dates: 11th to 26th March

Main Events
Las Burras de Güímar: Friday 11th March sees the town’s unique battle between shape-changing witches, demons and angels followed by the cremation of the sardine and a fancy dress ball.
Time: 9pm
Location: Plaza de San Pedro

Drag Gala followed by Disco: Saturday 26th March
Time: 9m
Location: El Puertito

Tenerife Magazine’s round up of some of the most interesting news stories of the week in Tenerife

Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot
The big news of the week was the heat wave which pushed temperatures above the 40C mark across much of the island. As the hot calima winds turned Tenerife into a tinderbox, the Cabildo issued advice prohibiting any kind of fire in the hills and we kept an eye on the skies, listening for the ominous sound of helicopter blades – usually a sign of a fire somewhere at this time of year. And so it proved to be the case with thirteen fires reported in the space of one 12 hour period. Six were in La Laguna, three in Arona, two in Granadilla de Abona and one each in San Miguel de Abona and Santa Cruz. Thankfully the island’s fire services were able to extinguish them all. As residents worried about forest fires, tourists revelled in the hot temperatures. Every coin has two sides.

No Partying Here – This is a Tourist Resort
Some members of the council in Costa Adeje want to impose fines on those involved in the practice of enjoying a botellón in the resort. A botellón is a practice carried out throughout Spain which basically involves youths meeting in open air spaces to socialise and drink. It’s a cheap way of having a party without paying inflated bar prices. Botellóns can be messy affairs and areas where they take place look like a tip afterwards…but it is part of the culture. However, not a part of the culture that some politicians want tourists exposed to. There’s a certain irony that in an area designed for drinking, being merry and having a good time, there’s a chance that rules will be imposed to stop young locals doing exactly that, albeit in their own way.

Watching the Detectives
It doesn’t instill a lot of confidence in the sleuthing abilities of Tenerife’s boys in blue when you learn that the council in Güímar hired a private detective agency to do a bit of detecting instead of using its own police force. The situation became even more bizarre when it was revealed that the private dicks had been hired to spy on the Güímar police. In a ‘you couldn’t make it up if you tried’ scenario, the private eyes followed eight officers who had a reputation of pulling sickies on fiesta days. One officer allegedly suffering from a bad shoulder was seen carrying heavy blocks whilst another with an arm in a splint was spotted cleaning a car using the injured arm. Not so much a case of the long arm of the law as the wrong arm of the law.

If You Go Down to the Woods Today…
You might just meet a procession and we’re not talking about pilgrims returning from their annual jaunt to pay homage to the Virgen de la Candelaria.
Part of the pine forest in the upper La Orotava Valley around the stone rock rose has become temporary home to a quite serious little pest called the pine processionary caterpillar, so named because groups of them travel around the forest in a line. This little fellow is quite a nasty piece of work. They can decimate pine trees, leading to a higher risk of fires due to the increased level of pine needles they leave on forest floors. The authorities have advised that the pine processionary caterpillar is a seasonal visitor and the threat they pose to the forest should disappear when they do. If anyone stumbles across any of these caterpillars, don’t touch as they are dangerous. In fact run in the opposite direction as their hairs, which can be released into the air, are toxic and can cause painful rashes and itching which lasts for up to three weeks.

For Whom the Bells Don’t Toll
One of the nicest churches on Tenerife, the Iglesia de Nuestra Señora de La Luz in Los Silos was at the centre of a row which had the townspeople up in arms.
There has been a long tradition of the church’s bells sounding throughout the night for generations, but that was in danger when a resident who lives right behind the church complained about the noise and demanded that the bell ringing was stopped.
Initially the bell ringing ceased during the hours of darkness, but an impassioned outcry by the townsfolk soon had them ringing proudly again. We say well done to the people of Los Silos for standing up for your town’s traditions. The man who tried to silence the bells turned out to be a Spanish mainlander who had been living on the outskirts of the town before recently moving to a house behind the church. It never goes down well when a newcomer moves into a town and then tries to force people to change their traditions just to suit, but for a Godo to try it on Tenerife…

And finally the TIT (This Is Tenerife) of the week award goes to… the Humboldt Mirador in La Orotava

This beauty spot which wooed explorers, scientists and adventurers is a white elephant of classic proportions. It was reported last week that after four years of waiting, the Humboldt Mirador would finally open at the end of September…maybe.

The four year waiting is nothing unusual; it’s the story behind it that earns it the TIT award.

Construction of the Humboldt Mirador began in 1999 and in theory it was completed in 2005. However, bureaucratic shenanigans have delayed its opening for so long that the building fell into disrepair and required renovating…even though it had never been opened or used. So far the mirador-that-never-was will have cost around 2 million euros. It is so Tenerife – brilliant, but also criminally wasteful.

Title: Summer Solstice at Guimar Pyramids
Location: Guimar
Description: The Pyramids of Guimar and the setting sun of a summer solstice. Explore the mystic possibilities in a FREE evening just above the village of Guimar, fully sign posted. Starts at 7pm.
Date: 2010-06-21

This shrine at the harbour corner is a scale copy of a 600 kilo life size sculpture, submerged 40 metres down to bless the craft that pass overhead. Juan Carlos Martin Diaz, a settler from Salamanca made them both in September 2005.
Look out for the Guimar fountain, and the sculpture of Hermano Pedro at the entrance to Villaflor, both also chipped by the chisel of Juan Carlos.