Title: The Nutcracker – Moscow Ballet
Location: Magma Arts & Congress, Playa de Las Americas
Link out: Click here
Description: A classic ballet for christmas with one of the worlds top dance companies. Starts at 9pm, tickets are all 35 euros. Box office open Monday to Friday 9 am to 4 pm, Show day 9am until start. Tel 902109974

Start Time: 21.00
Date: 2011-12-03

Title: Arona Summer Festivsl
Location: Las Americas Football Stadium
Description:

One of the biggest musical nights of the year will take place at the Antonio Dominguez football stadium in Playa de Las Americas. A top international bill of dance artists has been lined up with music running from 5 pm for around 12 hours into the early hours of the next morning.

5 pm – Jessy La Ley – DJ well known in clubs around Tenerife, especially Santa Cruz.

6 pm – Navy Blue Socks – Indie dance band from Puerto de la Cruz.

7 pm – Brixtol Tapes – Spanish Indie rock band.

8 pm – Bikini Invaders – Tenerife rock band.

9 pm – The Zombie Kids – Madrid band.

10.20 pm – Rinocerose – French rock duo.

12.30 am – David Guetta – French house music producer.

2.45 am – Roger Sanchez – New York house music DJ with wide musical influences.

Tickets in advance are 35 euros, on the night 45 euros, the Moon Zone is 45 euros in advance or 55 euros on the night. You can book online at www.aronasummerfestival.com or buy from most music shops around Tenerife. There is a special phone information line on 922216548.

Date: 2011-08-12

Title: Banana Festival
Location: Troya Bridge, Playa de Las Americas
Description: Feria de Platano will show you the great Tenerife banana in many different forms. How about banana sculptures, banana drinks, banana food, and banana crafts. This is a curtain raiser to tomorrows (30th) Day of the Canaries and also features traditional sport such as Canarian wrestling and Juego del Palo – fighting with wooden staves.
Runs from 8 am to 5 pm near Puente de Troya – the wooden bridge on the beach by Veronicas.
Date: 2011-05-29

Title: MAGMA Festival
Location: Magma Arts & Congress Centre, Playa de Las Americas
Link out: Click here
Description: As well as being the name of the venue MAGMA stands for Meeting Approaching Global Music & Art. Lots of electronic and dance music featuring artisits like Richie Hawtin, Heartthrob, and Luis Groove. You can also check out the stalls, online radio, DJ’s and video games. Starts at 6 pm and goes on way into the early hours. Tickets are 20 euros in advance or 28 euros on the night, full details at the website www.magnafest.com
Date: 2011-04-23

Tenerife Magazine’s round up of some of the most interesting news stories of the week in Tenerife.

Craig David in Tenerife
Last week it was Michael Bolton, this week it’s a singer who is a bit more contemporary; Bo Selecta himself Craig David who seems to make of habit of turning up for festivals on Tenerife every now and again. The R&B singer who had massive hits with Walking Away and 7 Days headlines the I Love Music Festival at Tropicana Gardens on Saturday 23rd April. The festival lasts from 3pm till midnight and tickets are available at various outlets and online. See here for more details…if your Spanish is good enough. As well as Craig David performing on Tenerife, Queen guitarist Brian May announced he would be joining Tangerine Dream during their Sonic Universe concert at the Starmus Festival in the Magma Arts & Congress Centre in Adeje on 24th June. Looks like lots of good music to look out for on Tenerife over the next few months.

Fewer Foreigners Living in The Canary Islands
For the third consecutive year the trend towards foreigners leaving the Canary Islands rather than setting up home here continues. Spain’s National Statistics Institute has recorded that there are  70,000 fewer foreigners living in the Canary Islands than there were two years ago. The economic crisis and lack of jobs are partly to blame. However, the drop in foreign residents is attributed mainly to the departure of South American immigrants. EU residents, especially Romanian, British and German, bucked the trend by actually increasing.
But, and this is a massive but, the statistics refer to foreigners who actually registered with their local councils. As there are potentially thousands of  foreign residents on Tenerife and the other islands who live outside the system and therefore are never included in any statistical data, it’s impossible to know how accurate a picture their findings paint.

The Saga of the South Hospital
Every few weeks there seems to be an announcement about the progress, or lack of, regarding the construction of the long awaited and quasi mythical hospital in the south of Tenerife. The latest news is that building works have been given the green light again and the hospital should be ready to open in the summer of 2012…only a year behind schedule. The work will be in two phases so only part of the hospital will be completed then. The rest won’t be finished until the summer of 2013 – that would be two years behind schedule then (if the building work is completed on schedule). Of course these were only announcements; the next stage of the building process has actually yet to get under way.

The Two Most Unsafe Destinations in the Canary Islands…
…Are La Palma and Playa de las Américas. But maybe not for the reasons you may think. The National Police Force have declared them so because financial cutbacks have left them without the officers and the equipment they feel is necessary to ensure the safety and security of the public in both locations. There is a shortage of cars in Playa de las Américas and there is currently only one van that drops officers off at various points in the resort. After that they have to patrol on foot rather than by car. Wouldn’t that be called pounding the beat and represent the sort of police presence that a lot of people prefer?  The crisis isn’t only affecting resorts, Santa Cruz suffers from a shortage of cars, and radio transmissions are so bad that officers sometimes have to use mobile phones to communicate…so they’re not just chatting to their mates after all.

No Smoking in Tenerife – What’s the Score?
The first three months of life under the controversial (to many Spanish) no smoking law has passed. Many predicted protests and serious opposition against a law that some claimed was unfeasable to implement. So what has the reality been? It’s been that everyone more or less accepted it with little more than a bar room moan and the threat of protests dissipated like a puff of smoke. The threatened closure of bars during carnaval didn’t take place and instead little tables and chairs started to appear outside many bars giving them quite an attractively quaint look. The doorways to some bars became crowded as puffing patrons kept most of their body inside and whilst the hand holding the cigarette amusingly remained outside. Although statistics are still being compiled first reports are that there have only been 40 denuncias (cases of official action) issued across the whole of  the Canary Islands.

And finally the TIT (This Is Tenerife) of the week award goes to…Creators of the I Love Music Festival website.
The I Love Music Festival is a fantastic boost to Tenerife’s image as a destination that offers visitors a diverse range of musical experiences from world class ballet to contemporary dance music. It’s an event that adds a buzz to Easter weekend on Tenerife and one that many visitors would love to attend. So why then, when the festival is right in the heart of Tenerife tourist land, is the website only in Spanish? The navigation bar has English translations but after that non-Spanish speakers are cast adrift. Apart from not seeming to cater for many of the people who might be interested in knowing more about the festival, it’s crazy from a business point of view as non-Spanish speakers might struggle to buy tickets and clearly that can affect sales. Sometimes you’d never know there had been decades of mass tourism on Tenerife as the basics of how to market to visitors still seems to be beyond some businesses.

1. Fair weather friend
Well of course the weather’s the number one reason for throwing the bikini and factor 15 into a suitcase, perusing the Net for cheap flights to Tenerife and waving goodbye to the snowman.
Just four or so flying hours from the UK, who wouldn’t want to wiggle their toes in the warm sand, settle down beneath a palm tree with a good book and a long cocktail and exchange that milk bottle look for a healthy olive glow? It’s the single most common reason why millions of people choose  to holiday in Tenerife – and who are we to argue with them?

2. One island, many holidays
Tenerife is such a microcosm of landscapes that it’s like visiting a dozen different holiday resorts in one. From beaches to picturesque villages, theme parks to green parks and sandy shores to mountain highs you can find every type of holiday experience in less than 800 square miles of tropical paradise.

3. Swing into Action
On Tenerife you can pretty much guarantee that there’ll be at least one championship golf course basking in sunshine every single day of the year, and what’s more, there won’t be any earache from the other half. Golf widows can retire to the beaches of Playa de Las Américas, Costa Adeje and Las Galletas or indulge themselves in top notch hotels while their other halves pander to their favourite obsession.

4. A Taste of the Good Life
Eating out on Tenerife is still an affordable luxury and although blackboards advertising All Day British Breakfast still abound in some resorts, those with a more refined palate may be gastronomically surprised. From chic city dining to bijou resort bistros and five star hotel restaurants to gourmet secret gems – Tenerife restaurants are today’s special.

5. Holiday on another planet
There aren’t many places in the world where you can travel from snow topped mountain to sunbathing on the beach in less than two hours but Tenerife is one of them. Not just the icon of the archipelago and pride of  Spain, Teide National Park is also the most amazing landscape you’re likely to encounter this side of a long weekend on the moon.

6. Party Dude
Ask anyone who lives here, one of the things the Tinerfeños do better than most is they know how to have a good time. From bar hopping in your resort to subjecting your senses to an all out assault at Europe’s biggest carnival, for those who enjoy the hedonistic pleasures of life, almost every night is party night on Tenerife.

7. Rural retreats
Tenerife can be many things to many people and while thrill seekers find pleasure in the theme parks and nightlife of the resorts, nature lovers can escape the noise and bustle of the world in Tenerife’s idyllic rural interior. Whether you’re a walker, a tent pitcher or an away-from-it-all junkie, there’s a rustic retreat with your name on it.

8. Sail away
Tenerife is a stepping stone to the Western Canary Islands of La Gomera, La Palma (above) and El Hierro, all of which are just a short sail and a million miles away from the tourism centres of Tenerife. For the price of one flight to Tenerife and a ferry ride, you can experience half an archipelago.

9. Dive in
Centuries of volcanic eruptions have formed a mysterious underwater world of basalt columns and silent caves – all of which are teeming with marine wildlife. Warm, deep waters close to shore provide some of Europe’s best diving for those with a penchant for rubber and air tanks.

10. Thar She Blows (Photo courtesy of Atlantic Whale Foundation)
Personally, I prefer my air supply limitless and am happy to watch the amazing creatures of the deep from the deck of a sailing ship. Bottle nosed dolphins, minke and sperm whale occupy and pass through the warm waters between Tenerife’s west coast and neighbouring La Gomera making Tenerife one of the best places in the world to watch them in their natural habitat.

There’s just too much going on at night in Playa de las Américas, so for the latest in Tenerife Magazine’s bar hopping series, we decided to split it into two, concentrating first on the area around the Safari Centre and the patch.

The pair resembled creatures from Resident Evil. Red-rimmed sockets framed glazed eyes; they lurched toward me with a gait favoured by the undead in many cheap horror flicks.

“Shhhcooz me, mate,” one raised a heavy limb in my direction. “Jooo know where shhtrip is?”

It was shortly after 9pm and the two fitted the stereotypical description of what many believe to be the norm in Playa de las Américas. As it turned out they’d strayed way off course and were outside the Safari Centre. I pointed then in the right direction and, after stopping to enjoy the dancing fountain and some rousing flamenco coming from La Martina Grill, headed to Parque de la Paz.

Soul Suite
With entertainment in nearly every bar in the row, it was mind-boggling to choose where to start. Every bar overflowed with customers; an excellent sign for the resort. Outside The Corner Bar I nearly called the police as a singer murdered Van Morrison’s Brown Eyed Girl; that plus the slick sounds coming from Soul Suite helped make up my mind. It was a hot night even by Tenerife standards and a pint of cool lager (€3.50) was an essential research tool. It was standing room only at Soul Suite as Lee St Lawrence sang old soul classics with a professional smoothness before giving way to Tenerife’s answer to Diana Ross,  Sheila Tyson. The music was pleasant, but after about thirty minutes I decided I’d had my dose of Motown for the time being.

The Bull’s Head
Rod Stewart at Lazy Days was doing a decent job, but wasn’t my cup of tea. I actually sat down in the Hole in the Wall, then the singer started belting out If your Irish Come into the Parlour. The antiquated song had me heading for the exit faster than a cannonball, coincidentally a line that helped me choose my next stop. In The Bull’s Head, the resident band, Vagabond, were performing a damn good version of Champagne Supernova by Oasis. It’s an attractive bar with plenty of space, service was sharp and prices reasonable (€3 a pint of lager). But Vagabond set it apart from the other places nearby. These are bona-fide musicians. The line-up seems to change on a regular basis, Christian Taylor is currently lead singer, but the quality remains impressive. Some of the guitar playing was electrifying. With anthems ranging from Jon Bon Jovi to Jimi Hendrix and everybody’s current favourites Kings of Leon, there were hot sounds to get all ages rocking. I could happily have taken root at the bar, but there were other night spots to check out.

Leonardo’s
Leonardo’s came up with something completely new to me. They asked me to pay for the drink before they brought it. The friendly, efficient staff had the decency to be embarrassed by this, but it conjured up the thought ‘what sort of people frequent this part of town’. Platinum were on the tiny stage and although the two X-Factor girls tried their best to engage with the audience, their efforts fell flat. After twenty minutes of feeling embarrassed for them I went in search of somewhere livelier.

Shenanigans
Much more inviting inside than it looks from the street, Shenanigans was packed to the gunwales. Despite being madly busy, I was served pronto (€3.50 a pint). The bar was bouncing when I arrived about 11.30pm thanks to the exceptional Looney Tunes. The music screamed along from classic 70s sounds to the ubiquitous Sex on Fire and Chasing Cars. Unfortunately Snow Patrol’s tear inducer was ruined by an over boisterous, beered up young Geordie who rushed the stage and bared his backside. Playa de las Américas may have changed, but some of its visitors haven’t. Freddy Kay’s caustic tongue dealt with it brilliantly. Excellent music and cruelly funny northern asides as dry as a Jacob’s cream cracker.

The Dubliner
Conveniently placed next to Shenanigans; fall out of one and into the other…and by half past midnight there were a few people who literally did just that. The Dubliner has lots of nooks and crannies and a wonderful undulating polished wooden bar. The average age of the clientèle was  between 30 and 50; a bit younger than those at Parque la Paz. They were partying like it was 1999, again, as the Dubliner’s band played crowd pleaser after crowd pleaser. I watched, fascinated as a quite sophisticated looking middle-aged women snogged a man she’d only just met. The baby boomers are growing old disgracefully. The Dubliner is a fun-filled holiday bar where people feel free to let their hair down. Prices were similar to others (€5 for a pint and a half of lager) but they didn’t have any red wine.

Magic Bar
There was one final stop to make before calling it a night. Like a cross between a Maharajah’s palace and a luxurious Bedouin tent, the Magic Bar has stunning décor. You pay for the privilege of spending time in this sumptuous pleasure palace; a bottle of Dorada is a hefty €5. Las Américas’ sophisticated set lounged on stylish sofas, half hidden in flattering subdued lighting. Most would probably never set foot in some of the bars I visited…and yet the music they were dancing to was mainly old soul classics no different from those I’d heard elsewhere. Same music, but with a wrapping that clearly sparkles more seductively. The Magic Bar is a beautiful venue, but it was far from my favourite even though it did provide the most striking image of the night. A girl with Grace Jones hair, scarlet lipstick and a black mini dress which deliberately exposed stockings and suspenders stood in a shaft of smoky light as a couple salsa’d sexily behind her, drifting in and out of the light like ghosts.

Nothing was going to top that, so with a voice hoarse from singing Sex on Fire a zillion times, I decided to leave the beautiful people to their posturing and head for home.

Bar Hopping in Playa de las Américas Part 2 – Starcos and Veronicas will feature in Tenerife Magazine later in the year.

Sitting at the ninth hole of Golf Las Américas, I feel like I’ve been teleported out of Las Américas and onto a private island of palm trees, tropical plantings and exotic birds. Not even visible from the roads that surround it, Golf Las Américas is an oasis of calm and beauty. As far as the eye can see, emerald greens undulate, fringed by palm trees and backed by the Adeje Mountains whose refection shimmers in the rippling surface of the lake. All the bars, visitors, touts and general buzz of Playa de Las Américas have faded and what’s left is a genteel and elegant world of green.

I’ve never understood the attraction of golf.
For years I watched the look of ecstasy on the faces of male work colleagues as they loaded their clubs into the back of their 4x4s and headed off to a Cheshire golf course, muttering some nonsense about it being a valid part of the business day.
Having jumped off that corporate executive ladder to move to an island in the Atlantic, I find it quite ironic that I should now be sitting here at the ninth hole surveying a landscape that would have those same colleagues salivating.
And I’m still wondering, apart from the idyllic location, what on earth the attraction is.

This weekend, Spring Hotels  held their third annual golf tournament at the Golf Las Américas course and 120 golfers drove, putted and chipped their way around this 18 hole, par 72 championship course.
The weather is good for the event; a thin blanket of white cloud is sheilding us from the intensity of the sun and a gentle breeze is blowing across the course – not enough to interfere with play but just enough to help keep the day’s humidity at bay.

A small marquee at the ninth hole serves as refreshment stop for the players; fresh sandwiches, pastries, fruit, coffee, soft drinks and wine have been prepared by the Spring Arona Gran Hotel and are being served by two smiling catering staff who insist on loading a plate with chocolate cakes and sticky pastries for me.
I’m setting up my notebook, tucking into the cakes and beginning to see the attraction of golf when Sir Old Golfer rolls up having just finished his round after an 8am tee off. I congratulate him on his third place showing on the leader board, but he laughs and tells me that the board is only showing the front nine. Having revealed my golfing virginity beyond all reasonable doubt, I return to my notes none the wiser.

Behind me a group of four men are discussing their morning’s performance.
“A few pars, couple of bogeys, no birdies”; no-one seems to have had a good morning, or if they have, they’re keeping their score cards close to their chests.
John Beckley turns up, half way through his round and tries to apologize to someone for his mobile ‘phone going off just as the guy’s about to swing. The resultant shot was a disaster. John’s worried; it would seem that some nerves are frayed and tensions are running high.
I thought golf was supposed to be a relaxing game.

Behind me, the relaxation has definitely kicked in; cold beers are washing down the universally acclaimed sandwiches and pastries and talk alternates between excuses – “I only get to play every couple of months, not like him, he’s on the course twice a week” and resignation; “Your round John, I’m playing rubbish anyway so I might as well enjoy the last eight”.
I’m beginning to uncover the addictive nature of this sport; there’s camaraderie and rivalry in equal measure which fuels a desire to improve performance bordering on the insane.
Plus the prizes look pretty neat.

As I head back to the club house on foot, I’m passed by a buggy being driven, beer in hand, by one of the players whose conversation I’ve been eavesdropping for the past hour or so.
Two thoughts occur to me; no wonder my former colleagues were always so eager to exchange the boardroom for the greens and, can you be done for being drunk in charge of a golf buggy?

Results for the Spring Hotels III Golf Tournament

First category men
Winner: Guillermo Moreno Masia – 40 points
Second: Rodrigo Hernandez Diaz – 37 points

Second  category men
Winner: Aurelio Ricardo Perea Gonzalez – 40 points
Second: Kevin Anthony Spence and Tomas Elias Delgado Davis – 38 points

Third category men
Winner: Andres Afonso Guerra – 39 points
Second: Epifanio Jesus Hernandez Delgado and Jose Manuel Martin – 38 points

First category women
Winner: Maria Dominguez Jerez – 32 points
Second: Ana Maria Gonzalez Rodriguez – 29 points

Second category women
Winner: Maria Candelaria Carrillo – 34 points
Second: Marilyn Pendleton – 32 points

Title: Summer Carnaval
Location: Playa de las Americas
Description: The spirit of carnaval on a balmy summers evening. From 7.30pm a Coso parade will travel from Hotel Villa Cortes to Piramides de Arona along La Milla de Oro (Golden Mile – don’t tell Blackpool) Featuring dancers, music and colour – expected to last around two hours and all FREE.
Date: 2010-08-20

Whilst it’s fair to say that the beaches on the Canary Islands get better the further east you go, Tenerife has invested a great deal of time and money in the importing, sifting and general manicuring of sand to create beaches which, whilst they may not be the best in the world, are exceedingly pleasant places to be.

1. Las Teresitas, Santa Cruz – Archetypal golden tropical beach backed by palm trees and the Anaga Mountains. Great parking facilities; kiosks on the beach have good tapas and cold Doradas; water is gently shelving and perfect for swimming/snorkling and there’s always great people watching.
Downside; if it’s breezy you need a sunbed to escape the fine sandstorm at surface level.
2. Playa Del Duque, Costa Adeje – Tucked into a sheltered bay with views of the over developed coast screened off by cliffs. Immaculately clean, soft white sand; elegant changing booths; stylish Hawaiian-style parasols; quality sunbeds and good restaurants in easy flop flop reach.
Downside; quality doesn’t come cheap and your wallet will get burned.
3. El Camisón, Playa de Las Américas – Small, sheltered bay located right at the heart of the resort but without that mass tourism feel. Gently shelving golden sand; stylish backdrop provided by the fabulous Sir Anthony Hotel; nice beach bar with shady terrace and grassy knoll for sand-phobes.
Downside; location means it gets very busy in high season.
4. El Puertito, Playa Paraíso – Greek-style bay tucked away in a sheltered cove where a sprinkling of white buildings creep down to the shore. Tiny, golden sand beach shelving into crystal, turquoise water where fishing boats gently bob.
Downside; in summer the bay is a magnet  for illegal campers and all solitude is lost.

5. Playa Bollullo, La Orotava – Idyllic, natural, black sand beach hidden away at the foot of the cliffs and frequented mainly by locals. Way off the radar of most visitors with only a handful of sunbeds for hire, a simple beach café with terrace on the cliffside and plenty of space to stretch out.
Downside; on most days the Atlantic rollers turn paddling into an extreme sport.
6. Las Vistas, Los Cristianos – Probably many people’s number one choice; a vast, golden sand beach bridging the join between Los Cristianos and Playa de Las Américas. Easy access from hotels; backed by shops, bars and restaurants; good range of water activities; disabled access and enough space to swing several very large cats.
Downside; regimented rows of sunbeds hog the shore-line leaving a hot gauntlet of Sahara Desert-sized sand to negotiate to the promenade.
7. Playa Jardín, Puerto de la Cruz – Long, black sand beach backed by César Manrique-designed gardens, at the foot of the La Orotava Valley. Stunning setting with Mount Teide in the background; good mix of locals and visitors; well served by bars, restaurants and facilities and great people-watching.
Downside; A lack of breakwater means swimming is only for the brave and the stupid and black sand gets blisteringly hot in summer.
8. La Tejita, El Médano – Natural, Robinson Crusoe-style, endless white sand beach lapped by azure waters and favoured by those who have an aversion to white bits. Accessible by car and big enough to take every resident of  El Médano and still have that away-from-it-all feeling.
Downside; It’s a long walk from El Médano and on windy days (of which there are many) sun bathing is out and sand blasting is in.
9. Playa El Médano, El Médano – Natural, golden sand beach right in the centre of the town and the pulsating heart of the community. Buzzing with activity on all but the rarest of bad weather days, El Médano’s town beach is just a deck chair’s width away from a plethora of excellent places to eat, drink and shop.
Downside; Small and busy, space is a premium and then there’s that wind…
10. Playa La Arena, Playa de la Arena – A sheltered, black sand beach with a permanent European Blue Flag flying and stunning sunsets. Family-friendly beach in the centre of the resort; super clean facilities; great tapas restaurant with shady terrace right on the beach and a stroll away from shops, bars and restaurants.
Downside; Gets crowded in high season and other than sun bathing, there’s little to do or see.

Apologies to all those beaches that didn’t make my cut – you’ll no doubt feature on someone else’s list