Tenerife Magazine’s round up of some of the most interesting news stories of the week in Tenerife.

Tenerife – One of the Top Five Places to Live in the World
This week Tenerife, or Santa Cruz at least, was chosen by the Guardian Newspaper as one of the five best places to live in the world. Tenerife’s capital was described as being ‘..Tenerife. But not that Tenerife. ‘ and ‘sexily exotic’. The other destinations on the list were Portland, Oregon; St Pauli, Hamburg; Maui, Hawaii and Cihangir in Istanbul.

The travel article was light-hearted but some readers took it too seriously and reacted with quite venomous comments. Santa Cruz escaped lightly with only a few barbed remarks about its inclusion.

“Devoid of real charm, decent food and culture…” wrote one, whilst another classed it as “…a sprawling shanty town overshadowed by a massive CEPSA refinery…”. Interestingly both comments were from people who actually lived in La Laguna, so no bias there. However, the person who commented “…this city is so far away to be in a 5 best places to live…” actually lives in Santa Cruz (clearly time they relocated).

Whether Santa Cruz is one of the five best places in the world to live is purely subjective but it is a great little city with a lot going for it. The article was positive and different from the usual Tenerife stories that normally make it into the UK travel press. But isn’t it strange that all of the detractors actually came from people who live or have lived on Tenerife? With friends like that…

Bruce Springsteen Plays the Canary Islands…Or Not?
There have been reports over the last week about Bruce Springsteen performing on neighbouring Gran Canaria on 15th May. Before anyone books plane tickets to hop across to Las Palmas,  it’s worth waiting for the deal to be done and dusted. The Boss’s gig has not been officially confirmed yet according to his publicists. At present there are no dates for the Las Palmas concert on Bruce Springsteen’s official website and there are no tickets on sale. Negotiations are still proceeding for the concert to take place. Watch this space.

Throwing Light on Electricity Bills on Tenerife
After a constant stream of complaints since monthly electricity bills were introduced in Spain in 2008, the new Spanish Government are re-introducing bi-monthly bills in a bid to ensure that consumers ‘pay only what they use’.  ‘Only what they use’ – What the hell have we been paying for the last three years? Basically there has been complaint after complaint due to incorrect charges caused by the ‘complexity’ of the monthly billing system – i.e. it was a complete shambles.

Delays on the Ring Road
The controversial ring road linking Costa Adeje with Santiago del Teide is in the news again with latest reports estimating that it will be 2013 before the road is ready; almost three and a half years behind schedule. As it happens the current road up through the mountains is a much nicer drive anyway, so no great hardship for those amongst us who actually enjoy driving on real country roads.

Tenerife Beach to Re-Open
It might not be well known to visitors to Tenerife but the long black sand beach of Playa de la Arena in Tacoronte is a popular R&R spot with locals in the area. Like many beaches backed by cliffs on Tenerife it has been closed because of fear of falling rocks whilst safety measures have been introduced. Playa de la Arena’s closure isn’t as long as some on the island and when it opens again in mid February it will only have been closed for five months.

Something for the Weekend?
This weekend is a big one for Tenerife’s animals with San Abad fiestas in their honour taking place across the north of the island. It’s appropriate that the Neotropico Foundation Rescue Centre has chosen Saturday, 28th January as the date for releasing two rehabilitated loggerhead turtles back into the briny where they belong. The release of the turtles will take place at Playa de la Nea in Radazul at around 11am.

And finally the TIT (This Is Tenerife) of the week award goes to…Police/Politician Relations
Relations between the police and the mayor of Buenavista del Norte are going through a sticky patch after a union official claimed the mayor had suggested on Facebook that four officers who all fell ill over the same weekend may have not been as sick as they claimed. The weekend in question was Tres Reyes (three kings); a holiday period that appears to be such a bad one for sickness that they should name a virus after it – Tres Reyes Syndrome perhaps. Thankfully Tres Reyes Syndrome doesn’t normally last long and clears up completely after Tres Reyes is over.

This breakdown in police/politicians relations isn’t quite as serious as the one between a senior politician from neighbouring La Gomera who, after an ‘altercation’ involving the police outside a nightclub in Madrid was arrested on the charge of assaulting law enforcement officers. The politician has since resigned from his position because of the incident. Probably wise; getting into a scuffle with police in Spain’s capital is probably not the smartest way to act as an ambassador for La Gomera on the mainland.

The sand takes me by surprise. It seems a strange thing to say, but my first reaction on stepping onto Playa del Duque, one of the most upmarket beaches on Tenerife, is one of confused surprise. The pale golden sand doesn’t feel like…well sand.

This is a new one on me. Tenerife’s black volcanic sands can burn like a branding iron and some man-made beaches such as Playa de las Teresitas feel like being at the centre of a Saharan sand storm at the first suggestion of a breeze, but they are usually soft on the soles. With every step, Del Duque’s harsh pale grains nip at my feet with the ferocity of miniscule terriers.

After being mugged by the sand, the next objective is to find a spot to lay out my beach mat. In front of me is a wall of straw umbrellas and beyond that, hugging the shoreline, is another wall of rainbow coloured parasols. It’s a sizzling hot Saturday morning in August and Spanish mainlanders are on the beach en masse occupying their favourite playa position right beside the water’s edge. They seem to instinctively know the surf’s limitations, their towels inches from where the waves teasingly lap the sand.

As a sufferer of beach claustrophobia, I stretch out on the empty expanse just behind the sunloungers and soak up the surroundings.

Lying at the western end of Costa Adeje, Playa del Duque is separated from the rest of the resort by a large rock formation jutting far out into the sea which acts as a natural curtain lending the beach an air of detached exclusivity. The Gran Hotel Bahía del Duque dominates the backdrop to the beach. Its palatial main buildings and mock Canarian beach-side architecture makes the area feel like one giant film set. Del Duque’s  St Tropez style beach huts and a white restaurant on stilts, straight out of the Caribbean add to the Hollywood feel of the place. With its movie star looks, golden sand and powder blue seas, it’s a beautiful looking beach for sure.

The feeling of being on a film set is enhanced by the fascinating beach opera being performed all around me – a beach opera starring Del Duque’s colourful hawkers. The score is provided by fruit vendors carrying baskets filled with melons, pineapples and coconuts who sing ‘Tooty fruiteee, veetameen, cocos-nuts’ as they parade between the bronzed audience.

The dancing comes courtesy of a couple of svelte, sarong sellers demonstrating their wares by weaving amongst the sun beds, swirling and twirling bright sarongs with the grace and sensuality of harem dancers. Finally, preparing the extras for the shoot, are the South East Asian masseurs; gently kneading sunbathers’ muscles that are, let’s face already pretty damned relaxed.

Then the villains of the piece appear in the form of a police car at the back of the beach; the singers fall quiet and the dancers, with practiced perfection, drop their sarongs to reveal bikinis. As the sarongs fall to the ground covering the rest of their stock the two girls follow suit, lying atop the bright cloths like any other sunbather…and Act 1 of ‘Scene at Playa del Duque’ comes to a close.

After broiling nicely for an hour and a half in 30C+ temperatures, my flesh feels cooked enough to slide easily onto a kebab skewer. Common sense dictates a change of scene. I make my way across the harsh sand to the cool shade and even cooler décor of the stylish beachfront bars at the rear of the playa, order a frosty beer and settle back to see what Act 2 brings.