No Nudes on Tenerife’s Beaches & Psychic Octopus at Loro Parque ““ The Tenerife Week in News

Tenerife Magazine’s round up of some of the most interesting news stories of the week in Tenerife.

First of all congratulations to the Spanish football team for doing their country and football proud in the way they conducted themselves throughout the World Cup. They were deserving winners and gave the youth of Santa Cruz another excuse for holding a water fiesta in the pool in Plaza España.

One of the stars of the World Cup also provided Loro Parque with an opening to make an audacious request.

Is Paul, the World Cup’s Psychic Octopus Coming to Tenerife?
El Dia newspaper reported last week that Loro Parque in Puerto de la Cruz offered to give Germany’s psychic octopus and Spanish national hero, Paul a new home in the sun on Tenerife. It seems appropriate that now the World Cup’s over and he’s got a lot of spare time on his tentacles, the German cephalod relocates to the north of Tenerife where he could spend his watery days amongst people who worship him and his many fellow Germans who also live there. Call me psychic, but I”M predicting it isn’t going to happen.

Tenerife; a Barrier Free Paradise ““ Countryside Routes for People with Mobility Problems

Thumbs up to the Tenerife Cabildo for continuing to open up Tenerife’s countryside to people who might otherwise miss out on the island’s natural beauty spots. The popular walking route
Llano de los Loros in the Anaga Mountains is going to be transformed into three different paths of varying lengths designed to suit walkers and people with disabilities. Tracks, bridges and walkways will make the area’s stunning viewpoints accessible to everyone, whilst interactive panels will provide information about flora and fauna to create this “˜Sendero de los sentidos’ .

Beaches on Tenerife ““ Doing the Doggy Paddle in Santa Cruz

It’s a blatant case of dogged discrimination ““ whilst Santa Cruceros can enjoy cooling down in the sea over the sizzling summer months, their furry pets aren’t allowed in the water anywhere along the coast. It’s a state of affairs that is driving the capital’s canines barking mad. With the backing of Tenerife’s College of Veterinarians, who say bathing in the sea is good for the dogs, thousands of dog lovers in Santa Cruz signed a petition last week to demand that their pets be allowed to enjoy the water like everyone else at the small beach near Parque Marítimo. Rumour has it that the city’s cats vehemently oppose any action aimed at making it easier for owners to take their pets for a swim.

Going Naked in Tenerife ““ The Big Cover Up

One Spanish language newspaper reported last week that there was a crisis on Tenerife’s naturist beaches ““ not enough people are getting their kit off. On some of the island’s seven official nudist beaches, where once there was hardly space to park a bare buttock in their heydays in the 80s, there’s hardly a white bit to be seen. One of the few die hard naturists left at Las Gaviotas near Santa Cruz bemoaned the fact that young people had become more conservative, opting to stay covered up rather than go for that all over bronzed look. There didn’t seem to be a shortage of naturists around the base of Montaña Roja last time I was there; there was a plague of naked men scurrying about the undergrowth -I couldn’t face a dinner of meat and two veg for weeks afterwards.

And Finally”¦

Appropriately considering the last item, there is no TIT (This Is Tenerife) of the week award. This week we’ve decided to have a HOT (Heroes of Tenerife) award instead. Last weekend wheelchair user Elena Martínez, helped by twenty two men and women of Montaña Para Todos (, reached the summit of Spain’s highest mountain, Mount Teide using a specially adapted chair called a “˜joëlette’. It was a remarkable feat and another example of what can be achieved with determination and a little help from your friends.

Enhorabuena España, Elena and Montaña Para Todos

Calls From An Offside Position 4 – The Final Whistle

Well that’s the World cup for another four years, not as rich in terms of football as I would have liked but more twists and turns than your average soap. As Paul the predicting Octopus discovers his best friends are vegetables and a hot simmering bath it’s time for a quick wrap up of some memorable moments.

Hitting The Bar
As I pointed out before, the bars here in Tenerife have not reaped the cash bonanza they hoped for, partly due to the credit crunch and cheap beer (22 cents a can) by the lorry load in the supermarkets. One thing you could guarantee though was during matches the local police could be found closely inspecting the plasma screen telly in their nearest bar, it was like Donnington Park pits outside some bars with those tell tale motorbikes parked up.

Action Replay Replay
The Brits out here just have to have the home comforts of their familiar channels and by a technical miracle it arrives here thanks to some poor bloke sat on the top of Mount Teide holding up a coat hanger. Watching BBC or ITV in various bars was a weird experience as their signals are beamed in slightly behind the live feed of the Spanish channels. At several games a loud cheer for a goal came as the build up play was going on in the English bars. I did wonder if I could speed dial a bookies during that short delay and win a fortune – well it was just a thought.

A Trophy Not To Be Sniffed At
Some pre match routines became a little boring and I found my mind wandering and imagining other possibilities. The TV shots always showed both teams marching out of the tunnel before a match and the ref grabbing the World Cup trophy from a small display table – quite a simbolic shot. Surely some joker could have squeezed some super glue in place just so we could see the surprised look when the ref picked up trophy and table in one unexpected swoop.
I liked the story about the drug smugglers using World Cup merchandise to traffic their goods. Replica copies of the World Cup trophy were shown being broken by the police and crumbling into a pile of nose candy. So is that why Pickles the dog found the stolen Jules Rimet trophy so easily when it went missing in 1966.

Well hope you enjoyed this World Cup journey, there will be another along in four years. Don’t just sit on the sidelines waiting, get out and support your local team, you still can’t beat the live experience. I can’t wait for the new CD Tenerife season, now thats what I really call atmosphere. The vuvuzelas ruined the atmosphere in South Africa, we only got rare break throughs of terrace singing and chanting.
There’s a taste of South American skill and passion when Venezuela are the pre season opponents for CD Tenerife on 19 or 20 August (TBC) Enjoy your football.

Spain’s Red Tide Sweeps Them To World Cup Final

Everything stopped for Spain’s vital semi final game tonight. In Tenerife capital Santa Cruz, the Beach Boys even put their concert back an hour to allow fans to see the game on giant screens. Now the car horns are blaring and the parties have started. Maybe they will win the final on Sunday “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”

Germany 0 , Spain 1

Two notable striking changes before the game, Torres was dropped by Spain and Tenerife born Pedro replaced him while Germany’s suspended Mueller gave way for Trochowski. Pedro made an instant impression with a run down the left that was halted by Lahm. The new boy followed up with a tempting ball to Villa that was smothered by oncoming keeper Neuer. Spain were stroking the ball around but couldn’t find the end product, Germany sat back and soaked it up like their teams of old. Iniesta set up Puyol with a well drilled pass across the goal but he couldn’t make his diving header count as it sailed over the bar.

Germany started to be more adventurous, Trochowski let go a long shot that Casillas turned away with his finger tips and Ozil caused problems down the left flank. Pedro was relishing his first start for Spain and forced a corner but it came to nothing, much of Spains work was just a bit too intricate and Villa was well bottled up by the German defence. The half ended with a penalty appeal from Germany, Ozil ran through into the box and went down after brushing with Ramos. The ref didn’t blow for anything so the last few minutes drained away.

Pedro was a livewire again as the second half started, his showed all his trickery on the right before setting up Alonso but his finish wasn’t quite good enough. One of the best passing moves of the game came from Capdevila to Xavi and Pedro who forced a save. Germany looked subdued but managed a break from Podolski that Piquet did well to clear. The chances kept coming for Spain, Ramos missed twice and just when it looked like they might regret the spawned chances Puyol came to the rescue. Iniesta buzzed around at trhe byline and forced a corner, Zavi fired over an outswinging cross and Puyol drifted in and rose high to head the ball powerfully into the net.

Germany woke up and were forced to finally push forward, substitute Kroos looked lively and from his free kick Klose had a sniff but Casillas made a clean catch. Villa having a quiet game by his standards was through on the Germany defence but Friedrich made a strong tackle. Spain took a big gamble and brought on Torres for Villa, Pedro should have gifted him a goal but tried to go it alone. As the clock ticked down Torres had a good chance but Friedrich was there again and the whistle signalled a first World Cup final for Spain.

Villa Shines As Big Names Lose Their Lustre

Fernando Torres is a genuine pin up boy in Tenerife, well his fashion poses adorn the posters for El Corte Ingles, but he and several other top names in this World Cup have looked like they need at least a month relaxing on the beach.

Spain 1, Portugal 0

Like a raging bull, Spain came charging out at the start of this game, Villa forced an Eduardo save and Torres forced a tip over from a corner. Portugal said is that it and took hold of the game with tight marking and strong possesion. Tiago had a great chance and found Casillas in uncertain form shovelling his long shot up into the air and scrambling it clear as he was charged at. Ronaldo put in a testing free kick and again Casillas seemed to panic, catching the ball as if it was a red hot potato. The keeper and captain did make amends running out 35 yards to deny Simao as he bore down on him.

The second half had barely started before Almeida tried a goalmouth cross and Puyol got in the way, his deflection causing the ball to bounce threateningly in front of Casillas before going out wide. As Ronaldo blended into the background, another great player Torres was taken off, a pale shadow of his best form. Replacement Llorente made an instant impression getting into a clear position before heading it straight at Eduardo. Villa is always lively and after putting a shot wide he came back for another go forcing a strong save from the Portugal keeper but snapping up the rebound for a Spain goal. Ramos nearly doubled up, flashing his shot across the Portugal goalmouth. Portugal should have upped the pace but didn’t , Llorente had another headed chance for Spain, this time flicked wide. There was a bit of controversy near the end as Costa was sent off for Portugal after a passing glance of players saw Capdevila rolling around with his hands over his face, when he got up there were of course no signs of contact. Alves squared up to him briefly but it was a distraction from Portugals lack of playing ambition and the overall quality of Spain.

Paraguay 0, Japan 0 (Paraguay win 5-3 on penalties)

Sadly a game where a bit of a gamble could have tipped it for either side but both played safe and penalties ruled the day. Barrios threatened to turn on the light in the first half, beating two Japan defenders with a clever turn before hitting the crossbar. Even the highly skilled Honda couldn’t fire Japan’s imagination in the second half, his best being a low shot that was easily saved. So penalties were needed to split the sides and Komanos miss off the crossbar proved to be the turning point.

No Defence For Ref, FIFA, But Most Of All England

FIFA’s stone age, stone wall mentality over video technology was exposed to the world today with match changing decisions shown to be wrong, with FIFA shackled by their own rules and unable to do the sensible thing.

The beaches were half empty here in Tenerife and hopes were high but the England players had learnt nothing from the previous games. It’s a good young Germany side, playing decent football, good luck to them.

Germany 4, England 1

Ozil made his presence felt in the first minute as he broke with Podolsky down the left, Upson and Barry just about dealt with that but there was worse to come. Ozil then popped up on the right and tore Cole apart before James cleared with his legs. Either Terry, Upson or both must have some hygiene problems because they couldn’t put enough distance between themselves. Rooney was playing deep again and looked to be back in depressed mood. Barry did manage a good shot that Neuer smothered.

Germany’s first goal was a gift, a long goal kick down the middle and Klose strolled between Upson and Terry to give James nothing to do but bawl at his defence. Klose could have quickly added another goal, again James was alert and used his feet well. The second goal was another example of poor defending, Muller put a good ball in and Podolski had plenty of time to tuck it in the net. England were reeling but they hit back with Gerards tempting cross met perfectly by Upsons leaping header. Then came that moment of high controversy, Lampard produced a great shot that clearly went well over the line, but the ref waved for no goal. Everyone in the stadium could see it was a goal, the watching Mick Jagger knew it, even Stevie Wonder would have known it.

Coming out for the second half seething and fired up, England still had a chance, Neuer look dodgy in goal and Lampard had him well beaten with a free kick that hit the bar. Rooney set up Defoe but Neuer just managed to deny him. Germany had plenty more to offer especially on the break, Lampards free kick was swallowed by the defensive wall and they were off up field, the England defence were on holiday and Schweinsteiger’s fine pass to Mueller gave him time to finish with ease. Then from another break Barry was skinned at the half way line by Ozil who casually crossed for Mueller to round off the rout.

Argentina 3, Mexico 1

Both teams set off at an electric pace Salcido of Mexico hit the crossbar and De Santos shot narrowly wide. Argentina soon came into the game with Messi dazzling again with his skills beating three players before his shot was plucked from under the bar by Perez. Then the moment of controversy, Messi unlocked the Mexico defence but his shot was blocked by the keeper, he reacted well and chipped the rebound to Tevez who scored from an offside position, the goalie and linesman gave the goal. As the Mexicans complained the giant stadium screen showed the replay and everyone could see the proof-it was offside, but the officials couldn’t change their decision. Argentina were boosted by that and turned the screw. Osorio casually passed the ball into space in front of his Mexican defence and Hiquain nipped in and scored a simple goal.

Mexico never gave up and came out for the second half ready to give it their all. Argentina had other ideas and Tevez put the game beyond reach with a top corner torpedo from long range. Still Mexico pushed forward, Salcido fored from range tsting the keeper and Hernandez headed over from a corner. Then Hernandez got his reward from the edge of the goal area, dragging the ball wide and picking his spot perfectly to make it 3-1. Messi could have added another for Argentina at the death but Perez pulled off a super save.

Argentina march on and the fireworks are already popping here in Tenerife among the large South American community.

South Africa Rainy Season – Goals From The Heavens

Spain 2, Honduras 0

How was this only 2-0? Well Torres still looked way short of his best, Navas did some great work on the right but too often wated his finish, and Honduras dug in well to clear their lines any way possible. Casillas had a couple of uncertain takes – she’s behind you the crowd cried, but after a good stop from Suazo in the 16th minute, the red tide besieged the honduras goal. David Villa went on a mazey run leaving three defenders floundering and made it 1-0. Navas followed up with a tempting cross into the box but Zavi couldn’t quite get his head to it. Torres lack of form was made clear in a five minute spell when he headed down instead in the goal from a Ramas raid, he skied a shot with a clear target and beat the offside trap only to be unfairly pulled back by the ref.

The second half was another tale of missed chances after Villa had made it 2-0 from a Navas break. Still the openings came and went, Ramos fired wide, Zavi, Torres and Navas made the crowd drool with neat close passes but each seemed too polite to add the final touch. Then Navas was clipped down in the box and Villa stepped up for his hat trick but fired the penalty wide. Goal difference may yet decide this group so Spain have to hope they wont regret their wasteful nature, Villa could still have got his treble but hesitated in the 86th minute and a Honduras defender cleared.

North Korea 0, Portugal 7

Amazingly Korea had the better of the first half hour and could have taken a shock lead as Yong Ho forced a good save. It took 29 minutes for Portugal to break through, Meirbeles cutting through the Korean defence to beat the keeper. Tiago let rip with a strong blast but Guk Ri fielded it well in goal.

The second half saw the floodgates open as the rain poured down. Simao was on the end of a patient build up to make it 2-0 and Almeida broke away and charged the Korean goal to add a third. Ronaldo hadn’t scored for his country in two years but was unselfish to unlock the Korean defence before passing back to Tiago for a fourth. Leidson had only just come on for Portugal before he made it 5-0 after a defensive slip, and Ronaldo finally got his name on the score sheet after the goalies block proved to be too lightweight. Tiago rounded it off with a glancing header, Portugal have arrived.

Chile 1, Switzerland 0

They are sneaking up on the outside rail with a mix of clever play and strong team work, Chile could be the surprise packet of the 2010 World Cup. Not a great game as the Swiss frustrated their South American opponents but a sending off tipped the balance for Chile. Suazo got the first of nine yellow cards shown in the game within a minute for a high kick. The cautios Swiss were down to 10 men after 30 minutes when Behrami hit Vidal twice in the face with his arm and got an instant red.

Chile were rampant after that, Sanchez led the charge but found the Swiss keeper a tough nut to crack. Paredes had the key after 75 minutes, he cut back to the goal line and flicked the ball out to Gonzalez to head the winner for Chile.

Con Men And Genius’s, Just Another Day Of World Cup Action

Off the pitch the French continued to implode with Viera sent home, team officials quitting and players refusing to train. All eyes were on the leading nations to roll out the sparkling football. What we got was The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly and some play that would disgrace the beaches here in Tenerife.

Brazil 3, Ivory Coast 1

Some rugged defending, cynical theatrics, and a disgraceful con of a sending off, thankfully there were glimpses of some uplifting samba magic along the way. Drogba started for Ivory Coast, still with his arm in plaster and concerns over his movement. Robinho was the first big name to show, his first minute swerving shot from the right just missed the Ivory goal. Drogba survived his first robust challenge from Lucio as Brazil got the better of the game.

Brazil opened their account after 24 minutes with Fabiano rifling the ball into the top of the net from an acute angle. Ivory broke and tested Cesar who just got the better of a strange bounce.

The second half was just 5 minutes old when we saw the good and bad of Brazil. Fabiano nodded the ball down and used his arm to control it, once at his feet he skipped through three defenders with sheer quality to make it 2-0. Kaka was having a quiet game but after 63 minutes he burst down the left and cut a perfect cross inside the box to Elano to make it 3-0. a few minutes later he was stretchered off after a risky sliding tackle.

Romaric came on for Ivory Coast and was denied an instant goal by Cesar, that seemed to inspire his team mates. Toure picked up the ball after a half clearance and set up Drogba to score, a much needed tonic after toiling alone up front. Niggly tackles started flaring up but Keita pushed it way too far when running into Brazil’s Kaka, a slight nudge and Keita was down holding his face as if poleaxed by Ricky Hatton , the ref didn’t see it clearly and sided with the squirming Keita, sending Kaka

To the dressing room with a one game ban at least. An unseemly end to a showpiece game.

Italy 1, New Zealand 1

The All Whites showed again that nothing can be taken for granted in the 2010 World Cup. Elliott went close in the opening minutes but that was just a prelude to a moment of history. Cannavaro tried to cut out a Reid cross but set it up for Lee Smeltz a former Halifax and AFC Wimbledon player, he nipped in amid a hint of offside and planted the ball in the Italy net. The stuttering Italians were showing very little form and had a bit of luck in their equaliser after 30 minutes. Tommy Smith was adjudged to have pulled De Rossi down but hardly ruffled his shirt before the Italian collapsed like a ton of pasta. Laquinta fired in the penalty much to his teams relief.

Italy got a bit better in the second half but New Zealand were not about to lose this scalp. Paston made some inspired stops in goal, most notably from Montolivo and Camoranese. Chris Wood could have taken all 3 points for the rugby nation but his late shot flashed wide. The reigning champions now find themselves really up against it to make the next round.

Slovakia 0, Paraguay 2

The neat passing football of Paraguay brought more reward with a comfortable win over Slovakia. Roque Santa Cruz led the line well as the South Americans toyed with their European opponents for 27 minutes before Barrios fed Vera for a neat finish off the edge of his boot. Salata tried to fight back but saw his shot fly over the bar.

Paraguay decided to sit on their lead in the second half giving Slovakia some hope but they couldn’t produce anything sharp enough to trouble the leaders. Riveros sealed the result 5 minutes from time with a fierce drive from the edge of the area.

Lions Go Out Roaring, Kangaroos Tied Down By Referee

As the St George flags droop rejectedly outside Tenerife bars, other nations are pushing on towards the next stage, but are the referees starting to lose their grip?

Ghana 1, Australia 1

Australians wouldn’t give a 4 X for most World Cup referees, in 2006 they were hard done by and it’s happening again. Hopes were high with Harry Kewell in the line up and after 11 minutes they were ahead via a Holman free kick that caught the keeper out with a squirming bounce. The joy was short lived when a Mensah shot hit Kewell on the arm, the referee ruled that it was a deliberate hand ball and sent the former Liverpool player off. Gyan stepped up and converted the penalty to level the score.

The Aussies showed great character to come back fighting in the second half, Chipperfield saw his header clear the bar and Wilkshire forced a good save out of Kingson. Ghana couldn’t turn the screw despite a late assault that featured Mensah heading over and Abeyie bringing a one handed save from Schwarzer.

Cameroon 1, Denmark 2

And so we say farewell to the African Lions of Cameroon. Despite taking an early lead through Samuel Etoo, pouncing on a defensive howler from Poulson. The Danes responded well and a defence splitting pass from Kjaer opened it up for Bendtner to nip in and equalise aftet just 15 minutes. Denmark grew stronger with poor marking the order of the day on both sides. Tomasson had his goal bound shot blocked by Song but at the other end Etoo picked up a loose ball only to strike it against the post.

The winning goal came 15 minutes into the second half and was a worthy one. Rommedahl made a clever run down the right and cut in to beat the keeper and score. Webo and Makoun wasted late chances for Cameroon but at least in this game they gave a good account of themselves.

Japan 0, Holland 1

Still not firing on all cylinders, Holland ground out their second win, although Japan kept snapping at them all game. Kuyt and Van der Vaart explored the wings for Holland and Sneijder saw an early shot go over the bar. Matsui controlled much of the game for Japan but their end product let them down.

Into the second hald and Holland grabbed the decisive goal, Sneijder smashed in a curling shot after 52 minutes but the Dutch sat back a little after that. Nakamura was denied by a hooked clearance from Van Persie and Nagatomo made a confident penalty appeal after De Jong floored him. Holland did just enough and look a good bet for the quarter finals.

Calls From An Offside Position 2

Aye Up Mick

My World Cup hero so far is Mick McCarthy. The Wolves boss is wonderful with his dour no nonsense commentary on games. “Cut out the fancy stuff and clear the chuffing ball” he seems to be inferring. You won’t find our Mick wasting time with niceties and talking about elegant football, he just tells it like it is – and he wont try and flog you a few tickets.

Players v Media

I”M desperately looking out for signs of boredom in the England camp, that’s when the fun starts. Back at the 1990 World Cup the England players had a series of bets riding on who could slip the most song titles into media interviews. They got away with it for a while but Stuart Pearce gave it away when asked about the hotel facilities. He said “it’s pretty good, not quite Club Tropicana but it does us fine”. After that the media combed back through old reports and suddenly they all made sense.

Iker Casillas Told Not To Watch The Birdie

The recriminations linger on after Spain goalie Casillas made a desperate feet first lunge at a Swiss attack that led to the Switzerland goal in the shock 1-0 defeat. Critics have pointed the finger at Sara Carbonero, soccer babe, touchline reporter, and the goalies long term girlfriend. Was he distracted by her sweet smile and the way she could recite the La Liga goal save averages from memory? personally i think it is discraceful that a dedicated football man could be distracted so easily by….whoa is that Gaby Logan just popped up on my TV screen, I will have to get back to you later.

Portugal Wobble And Ronaldo Falls Down

Ivory Coast 0, Portugal 0

It’s nice to get an early feel for the pitch, Ronaldo hardly waited for the Portugal v Ivory Coast game to kick off before he was kissing the grass following a soft tackle and a theatrical roll. A few minutes later he showed the brilliant side of his game with a rocket shot that clipped the post. It was all Portugal in the first half but still goal less at half time.

Just into the second half Drogba came on wearing his FIFA approved plaster cast on his busted arm, and finally Svens latest team looked interested. It wasn’t enough though and as the rains poured, the goal drought brought a draw.

Brazil 2, North Korea 1

Not a classic Brazil display but enough class to make the purists purr. Korea were just glad to be there but defended well to keep Brazil at bay in the first half. Not impressed to see a few Brazil players wearing gloves, we would have been beaten with birch twigs for that in my school days.

The magic arrived in the second half, Brazil right back Maicon made a run down the flank and from an acute angle stroked the ball into the goal – audacious. Robinho looked back to his best, the liveliest he has been since his Tenerife tantrum with Man City. a fantastic cross from him disected the korea defence and it was a gift for Elano to score. The plucky Koreans never gave up and got their reward with a well taken 89th minute goal from Ji Yun Nam.

New Zealand 1, Slovakia 1

It’s great to see the diversity of nations making it to the World Cup finals, these two minnows clearly enjoyed the big stage. Chances were dew and far between in the first half as they got a feel for the big stage.

Vittek broke the deadlock after 50 minmutes to give Slovakia the lead and their solid defensive game seemed to have snuffed out the “All Whites” enthusiasm. There was a dream finish in the 93rd minute as Reid sneaked in unmarked and headed a leveller, before leading his team mates over to the section of New Zealand fans – one for the history books.