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Blue unicorns, alien lampshades and luke warm treacle, well that’s what my scribbled notes seemed to say when I woke in a haze on Sunday morning. Thankfully a shower, food and a quick scroll through my camera helped to focus my mind, and memories of Los Cristianos bars formed a semi orderly queue.
I went out with just one self imposed restriction, no TV talent show, each to their own but Tenerife can surely offer more than that. Heading down the hill past El Mirador there seemed to be no escape from that show but turning into Avenida Juan Carlos the Big Ben pub seemed a good starting point. Inside it was cosy and fairly busy, 70’s music struck a chord with me and the mass of football scarves on the ceiling added to my sense of comfort. The friendly bar maid soon had a nice cold pint of Dorada in my grasp so I adjourned to the terrace for a bit of people watching opposite the stacks of trestles ready for the morning market. My nose was twitching at the tempting aroma of curry from the Masala Tandoori next door and thankfully the promised high winds and heavy rain were still waiting in the wings.

Now out of the starting blocks, the old beach of Las Tarajales beckoned, four bars had now sprung up in the block of locales and apartments that have been vacant since completion several years ago. I picked the first bar El Pirata, as the name suggested there was a nautical theme and the soft blue lighting showed off its slick look. A bottle of Dorada went the way of the previous pint as I watched a steady procession of people enjoying the seafront walkway which lures many out of the Arona Gran Hotel to take the night air. There were a few takers on the pirate deck and the other 3 bars also had a good sprinkling of customers and still plenty of time until their 1 am close.
Onward ever onward, I’d been introduced to Hells Kitchen or El Infierno (top pic), in CC Balmalhur a few days before and fancied another look. You don’t often see a bar with a casting couch but the décor here is very stylish and different, bamboo chairs and roof in the patio, pharaoh type wall decorations and even little devil dolls on the tables. The Czech staff and the chill out lounge made it a nice place to slip into a beer, I will have to investigate the food next time.
Time for some live music, Dreamers next door had been recommended so I was chomping at the bit. The separate eating area led into the main bar where a lively crowd were lapping up resident band Celtic Confusion, a 2 man musical treat playing Irish based tunes with gusto and passion. A wedding party had chosen to celebrate here and I couldn’t fault their choice, live music every night and Simply Mo due on later has also got a good reputation. With the night turning a little blustery I could have lingered here longer but duty called.

Just up towards the church plaza Churchills was my next stop, another modest sized bar making full use of all the space with karaoke in full swing and a bubbly atmosphere. It was nice to see a few of the Armada Sur football crowd letting their hair down and showing hidden singing talents. It struck me at this point that my plan to alternate between beer and soft drinks had not really taken off, bit late to change at this stage of the game.
A brisk walk seemed a good idea to give my little pea brain a short respite so I headed back up to El Mirador, and grabbed a stool at the popular Taylors Lounge. Some of the younger crowd had headed off to get down in the clubs but it was still bristling with contented customers inside and on the split level roadside terrace. Thankfully the big screens had moved onto sport and the night’s main boxing featuring Brit Carl Froch, as good a way as any to make the beer slip down.


Moving on up to Summer Nights, Billy Idol (aka Paul Stone) was holding court, taking me back to the days of his band Generation X playing in an Oxford pub. The crowd had thinned out at the top end of the night but the Rebel Yell was as loud and passionate as from the original performer. The Dorada was closing in on me by this stage, as White Wedding pierced the night I tackled the last bit of the hill with all the skill and grace of a young but very confused gazelle. Thank you Los Cristianos, here’s to Part Two of the Bar Hopping very soon.

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